Making Room by Gather
Hospitality. What do you think of when you hear that word?
For some it's old school 'stuffy' entertaining for others it's something to do with the hotel industry. One thing is for sure, as a culture we're not talking about it much.
Food * Design * Relationships have seemed to have taken a back seat to what our culture focuses on and values yet...we find ourselves in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Something has to change, it's time to get back to our tables, and we're making room for it!
Making Room by Gather invites you into a new conversation on everyday hospitality. One that rewrites the way we approach opening your doors and filling your tables. Shifting the narrative from 'how does this make me look' to 'how does this make you feel' these buildable conversations aspire to inspire connection through everyday gathering.
Kayty's chic and a little quirky interview style will make you feel like you're sitting with a friend talking about how to grow in confidence as an everyday host. You can expect conversations from navigating challenging relationship dynamics to foundational cooking techniques and everything in between.
Whether you are a seasoned host or looking to develop new friendships and grow in your skills for the first time, there is a seat at the table. Join us weekly for new conversations with expert guests and with Kayty in her beloved Date with Kayt episodes. Continue the conversation @gatheritentionalliving
Making Room by Gather
When Doing it All is Undoing You w/ Alyssa Joy Bethke
Exhaustion is an all-too-familiar enemy, wearing us down mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Alyssa discusses how prioritizing what truly matters can transform your life from her book "Doing it All is Undoing You,". Explore the impact of neglect, striving, and disheartenment on our well-being, and find out how honesty with ourselves and with God can lead to healing.
Alyssa underscores the organic ways to seek mentorship and build authentic connections—think casual coffee chats or leisurely walks instead of formal approaches. Listen for practical insights on distinguishing between control and influence, and discover tools to help children articulate their emotions. This episode is packed with invaluable advice on setting personal boundaries and alleviating the pressure to control every aspect of life, providing a roadmap to more balanced living.
To cap off the episode, we sprinkle in some heartwarming recommendations—from inspiring books to seasonal favorites like trader joes pumpkin spice cold brew. Join us for an episode that promises both deep reflection and relatable laughs with two new peloton loving friends.
*We unfortunately had some connection trouble that caused a few breaks in the conversation, but listen all the way through, you won't regret it!*
Get a copy of her latest book here
Follow her on instagram @alyssajoybethke
This Episode is Sponsored By:
Feast & Fettle get $25 off your first week of hand crafted, flavor packed meals delivered straight to your door so you can soak up the season with code GATHER at checkout
Watch our Youtube episodes here!
Hey everybody, welcome back to Making Room. We are so glad that you're here. Listen, colby and I are in a season of feeling pulled in so many different directions. You know, wesley just turned one. We have a lot of business stuff going on and we are in a season with some serious reevaluation conversations of if this is going to be sustainable, if this is going to work, and that's what led us to our conversation today with Alyssa Joy Bethke, who is the new author behind Doing it All is Undoing you, but that is what we're going to be talking about today. When Doing it All starts to undo you, what can you change and how to stay healthy in the process and evaluate all the hard things? If you do not know who Alyssa Joy Bethke is, alyssa loves Jesus, matcha, the sun and squeezes as much pickleball and reading into her week as possible. She is married to Jeff, the love of her life, and is mom to three of the greatest gifts Kinsley, cannon and Lucy. The Bethke family recently moved from Maui to Tennessee and are embracing the wild adventure of life surrender to God. Alyssa and Jeff help reclaim God's design for men, women and families at Forming Men, forming Women and Forming Teams. We love all of the work that they do and have been following along for years, probably like many of you guys.
Speaker 1:You guys know that I am a foodie through and through, and busy weeks I gosh, they get the best of me. I was on a walk with friends about a week ago. My friend said if you guys could hire one person to help you with one thing, what would it be? And she listed off a list of things. And that was hard because all of the areas would be helpful to us right now. But it was a close tie for me between hiring someone to help me clean once in a while and someone to help cook. But you guys know, feast and Fettle is the sponsor of our show and because of them I don't actually have to hire someone. I could just click a button and they'll deliver food just like it was made by a private chef right to my door. No opening packages, no cooking, I just heat and my family can eat. No compromising flavors, weird meat textures, all of that. They want to feed you guys well in the midst of busy season. So head on over to feastandfettlecom and use code gather for $50 off your first week, because hiring someone to help you cook is just a click away.
Speaker 1:Hi, I'm Katie, a hospitality educator and the host of Making Room by Gather podcast. I am set to see our communities get back to the table through hospitality, but it wasn't always this way. My husband and I moved to Thailand and through it I experienced some loneliness With it, I was given a choice to sit back and accept it or to do something about it. For me, that meant two things I needed the healing to learn how to accept an invitation and the confidence to know how to extend one. Through this process, I developed some of the richest and deepest relationships of my life. Through Making Room by Gather, you will hear conversations from myself and experts in the areas of food, design and relationships. You see there are countless things trying to keep us from the table, but can I tell you something? Take a seat, because you are ready, you are capable, you are a good. Okay, hi, hi, katie, it's so good to be with you today. I know this is great. Your background is beautiful, oh my goodness. And you are where.
Speaker 2:I wish I was right now. Tennessee it is. We've had kind of fake fall this last week, so it's still. It looks like fall we had one week and then it went to like 95 again. But today is a beautiful fall day, it feels good.
Speaker 1:We were there last week, but I packed for New England fall. I had sweaters, I was sweating and my husband was like to put it in perspective Kate, you're sweating, but you're happy and I'm like okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 2:It's so true. I don't mind it being from Hawaii, because we never had fall. I love fall, but I'm nervous how cold it will get.
Speaker 1:It was 65 here the other day and my husband was like Kate, no heat, no heat. I'm like, okay, fine. Oh man, if you guys are watching the video, our puppy Luca is having some anxiety or something. He's right next to me, but he's sweet and he's going to hang out. I think that for a conversation like this, a little backstory is helpful. We know you as a mom of three, entrepreneur and author. We've watched your family live in incredible spaces. You guys recently moved. It can appear like you're doing it all right from a social media perspective. Honestly, I could say this and just speak it over. You manage it with such grace, you carry yourself so well and you exude kindness, I feel. But I know that's not the full picture, that's not the whole story. At some point there was a shift for you. At some point things changed, and so tell us what you want us to know about that shift, that change.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's funny. There is a lot on our plate right now and I wouldn't recommend it because I'm also in school. I wouldn't recommend being in school and writing a book at the same time, but the Lord gives so much grace for different seasons. You may see that part online, but there's a lot of things I've had to say no to too. We just all have to choose wisely what we say yes and no to, because we can't do it all.
Speaker 2:For me, this book, when Doing it All, is undoing you meeting God in your unmet expectations. It really came out of like four years ago. My kids were still really little and my husband had always traveled. It's funny because he is like a go-getter. He has one of the highest capacities. If you know him, everyone's like oh yeah, his energy is unmatched.
Speaker 2:I like to read and sit in the sun. I go very slow. Our pace of life is very different. I just came to a place, finally in my beginning, in my 30s, where I felt like I was coming undone. It wasn't so much because life was so busy, although it was with three littles under the house and working, I think, for so long.
Speaker 2:It can be easy in our teens and 20s to live with a lot of ideals, and I love ideals. I have a lot of dreams. I have a lot of expectations of how my life should look like In your 30s. You get to this place where reality really hits you hard and you realize your ideals aren't playing out the way you think they are. For instance, we homeschooled for so long and I just thought you know, when you look on Pinterest and Instagram, it's like my homeschool days should look like me in a beautiful dress, sitting under a willow tree with homemade muffins and all my kids just like gleefully learning and reading their own books. That was not how homeschool was at all for us. It was like realities, but then also really, I think, for women.
Speaker 2:Today we really feel this pull of feeling like we have to do it all, be it all all at once. And I think a lot of times we hold the emotions of not only ourselves but all of our people, the emotions of not only ourselves but all of our people. And that's what made me come undone, where I realized, no matter what I did, no matter how early I got up in the morning and prayed, or how much I Googled and asked mentors, I just couldn't fix the heart in my home. I couldn't protect my husband from being stressed or protect my daughter from feeling anxiety. We would have meltdowns about homeschool, both my daughter and I because I just felt like, no matter what I did, I couldn't fix it. And so I think a lot of us as women, we just try so hard to manage the outcomes of our life and of the people around us. You come to this place where you realize I can't manage it all and I'm not called to manage it all. I think there's so much freedom when we realize, oh, that's not even what God is asking us to do. But it just was a lot of heart in my home and I felt like I was coming undone.
Speaker 2:So I had called a mentor, and I love it so much because, instead of giving me the five tips on how to homeschool well or a practical tip of how to help in this area, that was hard in my home.
Speaker 2:She said, alyssa, I think you need a season of tending to your heart. And she said the greatest gift you can give your kids is not so much what you do for them in a day, but it's your transformed self. It's who you are. And so, taking time to slow down, to be curious with your heart, to meet with the Lord throughout the day, not just in the mornings, and really be curious with your heart, I think you need a season for that. And so that really started this. For so long, I just had to hold it all together and I had to hold all my people together and I realized, like no, the Lord is after my heart and I need to give that to Him and take a season. And so that really started this book of what do you do when life isn't what you expected it to be. No matter how hard you try, nothing is changing or it's not going the way you want.
Speaker 1:So rich, so much there. I didn't tell you I was going to ask this, but I've referenced mentors a lot like in my own life when I'm talking to friends and people will say where did you find one? How'd you connect with them. I would love to hear from you, if you don't mind sharing how did you connect with this mentor, cause that was so valuable to speak into your life in that way. It kind of like unlocked something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think mentors are so important and I think there's so much pressure around it where it's like we want it but it's like how do we find it? I remember I was listening to a podcast years ago from John Mark Comer and he was saying that he asked to meet with one of his heroes, john Ortberg, for coffee. And I just kept asking him to coffee. We would meet, and then ask him again. We'd meet, I'd ask him again. It's been a year of meeting. He's my mentor. He probably doesn't even realize he's my mentor, but I consider him my mentor. I think we put so much pressure on will you be my mentor? And that can feel I don't know if I can sign up for that, or like we just need that one person that checks all the boxes. No, find one woman that you look up to in one area. It doesn't have to be in all the areas. Maybe you love how she manages her household, or you love how she parents, or you love how she is as a wife, and just ask them to coffee, ask to go for a walk with them.
Speaker 2:For me, all my mentors, because we lived in Hawaii on an island. They didn't live there and so I was so grateful for Voxer or Marco Polo or Voice Notes to just call them in real time, like, hey, I had a really hard day today. Can you pray for me? Or this is going on in my home, what would you recommend? And so yeah, for my mentor. It was someone that we had kind of connected in the past and then I invited her to be in this group with me and we just became friends. I just knew I could call her at any time me, and we just became friends. I just knew I could call her at any time. She has seven kids, so it's not like she's always available, but she'll get back to me when she can get back to me. No-transcript listening. Right now you have something to give. Say yes to getting together with someone, checking in, seeing how they're doing, caring for them is such a gift.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful for your insight into that. You were talking about the coffee model of going to get coffee, because I've kind of come out or approach a situation asking someone outright from the get-go, like will you be my mentor? And then it ended up not being a great fit. That kind of created a weird situation. When I think about it, the mentors that have been the most impactful in my life were more organic Appreciative of that.
Speaker 2:Another thing that I've learned real quick on that note is, as someone who is receiving, come ready, come with questions. Don't just be like, oh, I don't really know what to ask. You Come with questions and then I just think, however, you can honor that person, honor them. So, whether it's paying for their coffee or paying for their lunch or writing them a card after I think, just knowing how grateful you are really goes a long way too.
Speaker 1:One thing I want to differentiate here is, as we're talking about kind of like doing it all are the things that we have control over and the things that aren't. And as I was preparing for this, I could almost hear myself and some of my friends saying all unravel, like it's all on my shoulders. I have to keep carrying it, I have to keep going. Take that whatever direction you think is the best fit for that.
Speaker 2:I think that's what we as women feel. If I stop doing this, then it's not going to get done. If I go there, emotionally I'm going to unravel. So we just try to like stuff, our emotions, we numb out, we just go go go, cause we're like I don't know what's going to come out. Or we feel like it's our responsibility to hold our family together, and so maybe that looks like well, I just don't have time to care for my heart because I'm so busy, especially gosh, especially with, like, young kids making sure they're surviving. How do I actually take time to tend to my heart and care for my heart?
Speaker 2:I have a checklist of things that I have influence over, because I think control really is an illusion. We don't really have control over anything, but we do have influence. Have control over anything, but we do have influence. God has made us to influence people and the places and communities that we're in. That's a gift. We have the ability to impact people. We also have responsibility for our own actions.
Speaker 2:It was fascinating because I'm a peacemaker. I'm an only child. When I had multiple kids, I was like, oh my gosh, they fight all the time. What is this? This is the worst thing I could ever imagine this is normal.
Speaker 2:And as a people pleaser, I just have felt like for so much of my life that it was my responsibility for other people to be happy, and I took that into parenting and being a wife. I took it into being a daughter like just so much. I remember one of my friends told me Alyssa, you can be committed to their happiness, but you are not responsible for their happiness. And I have to preach that to myself, especially when I know I'm going to let someone down or no matter what I do, my child still chooses to have a tantrum or a hard day. I think so often we believe this lie that if we do everything perfectly, everything will go well. And then I think sometimes it's like if we check all the boxes, if I have lunches prepped, laundry done, then the school morning is going to go so smoothly. No, I'm not raising robots. We still have humans in our home that wake up with hard days or are tired or whatever.
Speaker 2:A few years ago I ordered these posters on Amazon the feelings posters. This is what mad looks like, this is what's sad Just to give language to my kids of how to express what they're feeling. And within this pack of posters there was one that said things I can control and things I can't control, and I would change the wording to say things I have influence over and things I don't. As a 30 year old mom, I looked at that poster hanging up and I was like that makes so much sense. For so much of my life I thought it was my responsibility of other people's opinions or what their actions were, and so in this poster I pulled out my book to remember all the things. But it says we cannot control the future, other people's ideas, the past or other people's feelings or their opinions, their mistakes. We can't control their actions.
Speaker 2:I have lived so much of my life thinking that I could control that and it was my responsibility to make sure that they chose well. But the things that I do have influence over or that I do have agency in, is my own thoughts, my boundaries, the words that I speak, my behavior. You know our spirit wants to do something and our flesh wants to do the other, but through the Holy Spirit in us, we can choose to do the right thing. We can ask for help and we can choose our friends. And so I think it was just so insightful to me to realize, like, the things that I do have agency over is how is my heart? And it's so easy, Like when we aren't doing the inner work, when we aren't taking time to process our lives and look at our heart, we have emotions that just come out sideways and we're like why did I just act like that?
Speaker 2:Why did I just lose it? Why am I crying all of a sudden? Why am I so frustrated? That's because we haven't done the inner work of processing. Why am I feeling sad right now? Oh, it's because of this. Okay, that makes sense. We just run so hard and we think it's our job to just hold it all together. That was really helpful to realize like, okay, I want to grow at giving my heart to the Lord more and more, tending to my heart to process my life so that I can be more like Jesus. That is the gift I give to my family, not me trying to hold it all together, make sure that they won't be stressed or have a tantrum or that we can't find the sock and it's my fault. That was just really helpful to rehearse. Okay, I have agency here. Control is an illusion, and when I do the work on myself, that is a gift to other people.
Speaker 1:Each of us listening are connecting to a different part of that. When you said I have influence over my friends, I kind of always knew the proximity principle, but something about this year, I have friends in my life that I'm like, oh my gosh, this group of friends is really challenging me and pushing me towards health in a way. I've never had friends do. I was like, wow, I really see it now, the power that plays. It's so bad. But someone in my life said that every year, once they hit 30, they start to evaluate their friends.
Speaker 2:I think you said you weren't sure if it was a podcast.
Speaker 1:Say it one more time. What did I say?
Speaker 2:You said you weren't sure if it was a podcast.
Speaker 1:It froze on this face. Were you really serious? I'm like man, she's really into this. It's like you're really interested in what I'm saying. I can't remember if it was a friend or a podcast guest, but someone said that once they hit 30, every year they took inventory of their friends and the people they were spending time with. I get it now. Not that we're supposed to cut everybody out and be irrational, but there's something to say about being intentional with our friendships, especially with accountability in our home.
Speaker 2:Isn't there a study that you are like your top five friends. Whoever your closest five friends are, that is who you become. It's not that we cut everyone out in our life. We're meant to love people and be around people that maybe we don't feel as comfortable with. But the best friends, the people that you invite into your life, that you have confessional community with, that you're praying with and sharpening they, hopefully are people that are spurring you on and sharpening you, because those are the people you become and it's so true. I see that all the time, especially in my life.
Speaker 1:This is kind of funny. My husband would be so embarrassed I'm sharing this, but we recently got a Peloton because I'm home with our baby and there are a few of the instructors that I really love. The other day I made a movement and I was like, oh my gosh, I look just like Olivia. When I do that, I'm subconsciously adopting her mannerisms and behaviors. We have no idea what kind of influence the people around us have.
Speaker 2:Good reminder who are your favorite Peloton instructors.
Speaker 1:Who are mine. It depends on the mood I'm in. If I need a gentle kick in the butt, it's Robin.
Speaker 2:Girls before. My favorite is Leanne Hainsby. Yeah, she's my favorite. She's my favorite Because it's like I want to get on there and not have to make any decisions. I love Leanne, I love the 30 minute and then I can pick whatever one I want Girl. So I'm just curious who your favorites are.
Speaker 1:If I want to feel really strong and powerful. I go with Tunde. She's intense and she's no joke. I used to ride with Kendall a lot and she's gone. Hannah Corbin there's like a little Broadway side of me that people don't know about. I'm a closet Broadway. Hannah Corbin always has great Broadway rides. Peloton is genius.
Speaker 2:There's something for everyone.
Speaker 1:They're amazing with the music this morning. I was, I just did, I don't know. I did this thing like Olivia, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in trouble, I'll have to follow you too. My husband's like why do you follow people on Peloton? He's such a like introvert, like his own thing, and I'm like no, I need to see everyone's rides. I'm so social.
Speaker 1:There are cycles that form when we're trying to control it all, trying to do it all, and you kind of categorize these I think correct my wording if I'm wrong as cycles of neglect and striving. I want to dive into this because I feel like this is one of those things that we could fall into and not even know that we're caught in the cycle. And that's where these friendships come in, that's where these mentors can really come in, like I've had friends in season, say, katie, I think you're depressed or I think you're trying to control this. I'm so thankful you guys pointed those things out, because I couldn't see it, and so what I would love to do through this is to kind of help show people the signs that they might be caught in these cycles so they can self-evaluate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good. So in my book I actually have a test in there at the beginning saying how exhausted are you? I think when we try to manage the outcome so much and we feel like we're coming undone, we can feel really exhausted in every way. And I think we can feel exhausted mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And God has created us as integrated beings. He wants to give us wholeness and a full life, full joy. So when parts of us are feeling really exhausted it's great to take inventory. So if you get the book that is in there what Katie is talking about with the cycles.
Speaker 2:I see this in so many of us today. We live for what we can do, what we can accomplish, what we can get done, what we have to show for when really God is after our heart. Accomplish what we can get done, what we have to show for when really God is after our heart. That you know Dallas Willard has that quote that it is not the greatest gift is not the accomplishments you achieve but the person you become. And so often we live in survival, even if you feel like you're flourishing, we can feel like it's all about what we do. Our worth is based in what we can do not, that we are children of God and that his love is enough, and so I see this so much that so, if God is after our heart and he's after the person we're becoming, there's these three categories. I think oftentimes we neglect our heart because we don't think it matters that really what matters is what we do, or we are running around life so fast, so we neglect our hearts because sometimes we just don't have time to go there, and you know we're trying so hard to hold things together. We stuff and we numb Maybe it's you know we just pull out our phone whenever, so we're not alone. We don't have to be alone with our thoughts or we feel like we might be sad. We want to go there, so we do online shopping. I'm guilty of all of that, and men are too just stuffing, stuff it down Like I don't want to go there, so that's.
Speaker 2:And then what you were talking about is earning our heart. I like striving a lot more of just like. We think our value is based on what we can do, and so that is where control comes in. We don't like to be anxious. We like things to be predictable. We want to be comfortable in life, so put all these boundaries and protections around us and our people for it to be predictable and comfortable, and that is not helpful at all.
Speaker 2:And then the last one, I think, is we get to a place in life where we just lose heart because life is hard, there's suffering, there's grief. I don't feel like the church does a great job of teaching us how to grieve and how to lament. America certainly doesn't, and they certainly don't give us time to do that. Where in other cultures there's a mourning period after someone dies or allowing yourself to grieve, how do we do that? And so we lose heart, when really God wants to give us fullness of heart and wholeheartedness. And so I think, even if I'm saying those things and the listener is like, oh, I feel that, like I feel that I am disappointed or maybe in despair or hopeless. I feel like I'm not present.
Speaker 2:I pull out my phone all the time so that I don't have space to be alone with myself, or I put on Netflix at night, or I do online shopping. In the first chapter of my book I write the story of me at night. The kids are finally down and I go to wash my face and I'm thinking through all the things of my day and I go to dry my face and all of a sudden the tears start coming because I'm like really replaying something hard in my life, like maybe a hard friendship or a hard conversation, or I'm worried about what someone's thinking of me, and the tears start to come. And then I go lay in my bed and pull out my phone and I Google like you know how to. I mean, I've done this so many times in the past of like my child had a hard day. So how do I whatever like help with perfectionism or how do I plan better or have a better structure for my day?
Speaker 2:Because I feel like if I just do that, that will be the thing, and so if I'm seeing any of that in the listeners resonating, I think that is like okay. Like do I really think that my heart matters? Am I running so fast that I don't take time? Or if I take a moment, I'm like, oh, I'm actually really scared to go there, or I just don't want to admit that. I just want to push that aside, that disappointment, I think, especially for women in the church.
Speaker 2:A big thing that I would hope for women to get out of this book is to be honest. I think so often we aren't honest with ourselves and we aren't honest with God because we feel like we should, like I should be living a joyful life. Look at all that God's given me, like I shouldn't be ungrateful. The Lord already knows your disappointments. He wants us to come to Him with those disappointments and be honest. That's going to look messy. It's only as we do that that we can walk through it and find healing. But if we just have these disappointments lingering and never bring them to God, then we live stuck and disconnected from God, disconnected from ourselves, and I'll end with this story so maybe this would describe a listener too.
Speaker 2:That was like okay, I need to start going there. This is a couple months ago. We had a really hard season in our home and something really hard. That night during bedtime, I came down to the couch and I was feeling sad, but I was like I can't go there. Whether that was subconscious or conscious, I was like I can't, so I just laid on the couch, I pulled out my phone. I was like I can't, so I just laid on the couch, I pulled out my phone. I was on Instagram for an hour, then I shopped for an hour and I usually go to bed at like 10, 9, 10.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I was just like wired and I didn't fall asleep till midnight. And as soon as my head hit that pillow I just had, like alligator, tears gushing no-transcript and the Lord's inviting you to come get away with me. I love Matthew 11, verse 28 through 30. Come, I'll restore your life. I'll show you how to live with the unforced rhythms of grace. I'll give you a light and easy yoke. The thing about that is there's still a burden to bear, but in Christ as he carries it, it is light and easy instead of so heavy, and there's a verse in Psalms about how he will shoulder it for us. So often we feel like we have to do it, especially as women. We can do it until we can't and we're coming in done.
Speaker 1:I as I was like flipping through the book. I was like man, there's so many little snippets that I want to pull and read to people and show people, but you're just going to have to buy the book. Well, we end each of our conversations with the same three questions and I want to hear your answers to them as we get to know you a little bit more. The first one is something you have eaten recently and loved.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that question. Okay, so there is this amazing hotel down the street from us called South Hall. I don't know if you've been there but everyone's telling me about it. It's so beautiful, it's like farm to table. It's one of my favorite places, but yesterday I went there for lunch by myself, which was amazing. They make the most amazing sourdough bread and these butter rolls that are just literally to die for they have honeybees everywhere, so they make their own honey butter with, like the is it the Maldon salt?
Speaker 2:It's so good. So that is something I've eaten lately, and I've eaten it a lot, because the day before Jeff and I went for a date there so I just forgot the bread.
Speaker 1:I love it. It's sourdough. You're allowed to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to tell myself but if anyone, everyone in Franklin, come to South Hall. It is so good.
Speaker 1:Okay, I will, I will. Someone an influencer just posted about their spa. Actually, have you been to their spa?
Speaker 2:Yes, well, I went. I didn't like get any treatments done, but I'm anxious to. It was so beautiful.
Speaker 1:That's also on my list. I have my next trip fully planned. Yes, you're good. Okay, how about this one? I feel like you're going to have a good answer. A gathering you attended that made you feel a strong sense of belonging and, if you could pinpoint it, what it was that made you feel that way?
Speaker 2:Wow, I love that question. So actually it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and a handful of my most treasured friends which is so funny because they're actually like half of them are actually what I call my friend tours, so they're friends but they're mentors. They're like 10 years a little older, but they all surprised me here and we went again. We went to Southall For an overnight, yes, but it was so sweet. It was like my book was coming out and it was my birthday, and so that night we all put on our robes and hopped on the bed and they all prayed over me, and so it was my birthday, and so that night we all put on our robes and hopped on the bed and they all prayed over me and so it was just like very encouraging, so supportive, just felt very championed, so that was really sweet.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love it, goodness. It's so funny. All the South hall talk. Listen when something's good you got to talk about it. And, last but not least, on a much lighter note, something you've discovered recently that you think everyone should know, about a Netflix show. Amazon purchase anything like that.
Speaker 2:Oh man, this is such a good question. I love this question so much and I get asked it a lot and I'm always like I always have things throughout my day and then when I get asked it, my mind goes completely blank. But I have things, cause I love things.
Speaker 1:South hall sourdough. No, I'm kidding South hall sourdough.
Speaker 2:You can't order that on Amazon. Okay, let me think. What would I gosh?
Speaker 1:why am I blanking? If not, you could just plug your book.
Speaker 2:I know the book. Okay, no, there has to be something. Give me just a second. Well, it's so funny.
Speaker 2:I am such a reader and so a lot of the things probably are books that I've read. I feel like I have my best friend who is such a maven She'll be like you have to try this lip gloss or you have to try this concealer. Every time I hang out with her I spend I dropped like a hundred dollars Cause I'm like I just need everything she says. So for me it probably is books. I am reading two books right now that I love. One, eugene Peterson, is one of my favorite authors, pastors ever and just been like such a spiritual hero to me. So I'm reading his one. It's like the letters to the young pastor. He wrote all these letters to his son who became a pastor and it's just really sweet to see father and son and like caring for the church and very easy to read. So if I just love it, if you love Eugene Peterson or if you're in church ministry at all, I highly recommend that book and then the other book I'm looking up the other book that is like changing my world.
Speaker 2:It's a little deeper of a read for people, but Ronald Rollheiser, my friend, just recommended this. He has a book called Against an Infinite Horizon. I'm only three chapters in, but it is so good I feel like he's helping me. I don't want to give it away. I'm still digesting a lot of it. But just talking about real things and our longings, we are basically infinite creatures, made for eternity, made for Jesus. At the end of the day, things on earth will never actually truly satisfy us, even in marriage. Why are we married for so long? No matter how healthy and wonderful, we still feel alone at times. And it's just talking of how we're made for the Lord.
Speaker 2:But he talks so much about motherhood and family and you know just real life things, money and it is so good. So those are maybe are for specific people, but I'm really enjoying those books.
Speaker 1:I'll link those in the show notes. I never share mine, so I'm sipping on. I know I'm like crazy. It's Trader Joe's pumpkin spice cold brew. Is it good? I've seen that. Yeah, no sugar, there's nothing artificial and like if I had, if I could, I would have a pumpkin spice latte every day. But I well I do you do good for you, good for you, get it. No, so I have this in the fridge and it is so.
Speaker 2:It's phenomenal it's very good. I'm going to fair joe's after this, so I'm going to pick some up, definitely get it.
Speaker 1:and then the other thing is my husband got me these stunning bookmarks off of Etsy. I just love being surrounded by beauty, like beautiful things, and it's like an acrylic bookmark with dried wildflowers in it and it's just really beautiful.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so sweet. I love tacos. Have you tried Trader Joe's gluten-free pumpkin pancakes?
Speaker 1:the mix? No, but I've had the pumpkin bread. The pumpkin bread is amazing.
Speaker 2:Also the pancakes, if your son loves pancakes, they are so good and.
Speaker 1:I'm gluten-free. I don't know if you knew that, okay.
Speaker 2:Actually we got both. I liked the gluten-free better than the normal. We'll do it.
Speaker 1:I told myself that after our last Tennessee trip, I'm officially into fall. I had to wait, I'm officially there.
Speaker 2:Well, I think was it the official day this week.
Speaker 1:Oh, we'll see. Okay, I'm onto something that's great. I will attach the link to your new book in the show notes, along with all of our recommendations from the show, and thank you so much. This was so sweet Wi-Fi glitches and all.
Speaker 2:Loved it so grateful. Still blows my mind we can connect.
Speaker 1:Well, guys, you know the drill Leave a review, share the show and we will see you next week.