Making Room by Gather
Hospitality. What do you think of when you hear that word?
For some it's old school 'stuffy' entertaining for others it's something to do with the hotel industry. One thing is for sure, as a culture we're not talking about it much.
Food * Design * Relationships have seemed to have taken a back seat to what our culture focuses on and values yet...we find ourselves in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Something has to change, it's time to get back to our tables, and we're making room for it!
Making Room by Gather invites you into a new conversation on everyday hospitality. One that rewrites the way we approach opening your doors and filling your tables. Shifting the narrative from 'how does this make me look' to 'how does this make you feel' these buildable conversations aspire to inspire connection through everyday gathering.
Kayty's chic and a little quirky interview style will make you feel like you're sitting with a friend talking about how to grow in confidence as an everyday host. You can expect conversations from navigating challenging relationship dynamics to foundational cooking techniques and everything in between.
Whether you are a seasoned host or looking to develop new friendships and grow in your skills for the first time, there is a seat at the table. Join us weekly for new conversations with expert guests and with Kayty in her beloved Date with Kayt episodes. Continue the conversation @gatheritentionalliving
Making Room by Gather
Let There Be Havens: An Invitation to Gentle Hospitality with Liz Bell Young
Craving a fresh perspective on hospitality and community building? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Liz Bell Young, a talented writer and designer celebrated for her work in Magnolia Journal and other notable publications. Liz shares her multidisciplinary take on creating welcoming and intentional spaces, fueled by her love for words, rocks, and savoring small cups of coffee. Discover how her experiences and passions shape her unique approach to hospitality, offering a gentle, calm, and heartfelt alternative to chaotic traditions of the past.
As we navigate through the art of blending diverse interests—whether in social work, business, or culinary arts—our discussion highlights the importance of creating spaces that prioritize genuine comfort and meaningful interactions. By redefining hospitality to focus on self-care, peace, and simplicity, we address the ever-present cultural burnout and celebrate the beauty of authentic, connection-driven experiences.
This episode is a celebration of resourcefulness and love in hospitality. From hosting rustic camping events with limited resources to planning budget-friendly communal gatherings, we challenge the notion that extravagance is necessary for warmth and connection. With practical strategies like creating kits to simplify daily routines, our dialogue inspires listeners to welcome authenticity and gentleness in everyday hospitality. Tune in for heartfelt anecdotes, insightful discussions, and a special focus on making the most of what we have to foster community and belonging.
Buy a copy of Liz's Book here!
Follow Liz @lizbellyoung
This Episode is Sponsored By:
Feast & Fettle get $25 off your first week of hand crafted, flavor packed meals delivered straight to your door so you can soak up the season with code GATHER25 at checkout
Watch our Youtube episodes here!
Hey everyone, welcome back to Making Room. I'm so glad you're here. I was just telling our new friend Liz. This morning was a little bit of a whirlwind getting baby and Colby out the door and all of the things, but I'm so excited. It's an exciting week, it's a good season and, yeah, I have my new friend Liz here to talk more about hospitality. We were introduced a few weeks ago from a past podcast guest, andrea Sommer, and we both share a mutual love of her and a mutual love of hospitality and I'm so excited to get to know her more today and share all about her new book and her platform with you.
Speaker 1:If you are a parent going into the fall, you are probably feeling the head spinning crazy of sports and, oh my gosh, parent teacher meetings and homework and all of the things, and we want to come alongside you to help you get dinner on the table, get healthy lunches to your kids, feed yourself yummy snacks and Feast, and Fettle wants to help us do just that. If you live in the Northeast, we would love to offer you $50 off your first week of home cooked meals delivered straight to your door. You don't have to open packages, you don't have to prep anything at all. They serve it directly to you, ready to eat. You just heat and eat and it is all the ingredients, all the flavors that you feel you can feel good about. So head on over to feastandfettlecom and use code gather for $50 off a service that you could really benefit from this season. We are considering it and excited about it ourselves in the Halgerson households.
Speaker 1:Well, I want to tell you a little bit more about our new friend, liz. Liz Bell Young is a writer and experienced designer. Oh, I love that title. Her work and stories appear in Magnolia Journal, which we love. Actually, I don't know if I got my copy this season, but Artifact, uprising Darling and Procter Gamble. A graduate of the School of Art Institute of Chicago and University of Cincinnati, liz takes a multidisciplinary approach to her work and home Favorite pairings. I love this. I love this about your bio. It's so fun. Words on index cards, words next to rolling film, words covering real paper inside real books. I am the same. I cannot relate to that. She also adores rocks, oyster shells, the smell of hay and gasoline. That's so fun. Coffee in small cups Can't relate to that one. I want a big cup. But above all, her life with Ryan and their three children. Well, guys, we are not going to wait any longer. Let's dive into this conversation.
Speaker 1:Hi, I'm Katie, a hospitality educator and the host of Making Room by Gather podcast. I am set to see our communities get back to the table through hospitality, but it wasn't always this way. My husband and I moved to Thailand and through it I experienced some loneliness and with it I was given a choice to sit back and accept it or to do something about it, and for me that meant two things that I needed the healing to learn how to accept an invitation and the confidence to know how to extend one. Through this process, I developed some of the richest and deepest relationships of my life. Through Making Room by Gather, you will hear conversations from myself and experts in the areas of food, design and relationships. You see there are countless things trying to keep us from the table.
Speaker 1:But can I tell you something? Take a seat, because you are ready, you are capable, you are a good host. Okay, that's beautiful, kate. I love that. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you, that kind of like intro messaging, just kind of like came to me one day when we were in a season of like I don't know, a new season for the show, and then our creative director, alia, pulled it all together and I was like, oh my gosh, this is exactly what I want to communicate visually and through words. So it was good homework. Yeah, thank you, Thank you, thank you. Well, um, it's so funny. Our mutual friend, andrea, yes, um, I've only gotten to know her in this setting and then we've stayed in touch on Instagram and had babies around the same time. Um, but I was wishing. I was like, oh my gosh, I wish this show was on the road and we could all just be like, cozied up One day, one day.
Speaker 2:I saw her the other day and you would have loved it. She had on this oatmeal colored dress to the floor and she had painted the entire thing. It was a hand painted by Andrea dress. It was gorgeous.
Speaker 1:She's just like very cool I love her.
Speaker 1:Um, well, she first told me about you and I cannot believe I hadn't learned about you sooner. Um, but she sent me her book in the mail, which was like brownie points for a friend award, right, and I didn't know what to expect. She didn't tell me what she was sending me and I got the book and there were two things that I realized right away. First, the book just like exuded peace and I just flipped through the pages and I was like, oh my goodness, I haven't had a book kind of like breathe peace like this to me in a long time, and so that was very impactful. But you also put into words so eloquently so many things that my heart feels and I loved that because I was like man.
Speaker 1:This conversation is going to be so powerful. You know, when, like, you're in a relationship and you finish each other's sentences. That's kind of what this feels like already. I hope I don't lose my voice, but it's possible. Friends, but before we dive in, I want to learn a little bit more about you, because you're a new friend to us. So tell us what you want us to know. We can go a few different directions with this, but I guess about your journey to hospitality, kind of like a focus on hospitality as a career and lifestyle.
Speaker 2:Sure. Well, I would say it started with just wanting to take care of people and create environments. So when I was really little I watched my parents do this and some other people that I looked up to. It's just like creating physical spaces but also emotional spaces for people to just settle into, where they felt at ease and safe and comfortable, and so I always I felt myself very drawn to that and to the artistic realm, because when my mom was an artist, it was very encouraged in our household to be creative, and so I kind of wanted to marry that like taking care of people with creating physical space.
Speaker 2:I actually went into social work first because I really wanted to be very helpful, and even though I wanted to be a writer, I just thought, oh, like I'll just be alone in a corner and I don't know. I was a little bit melancholic, you know, growing up, and I was like I might not be good for anybody and, plus, it just felt too solitary and I really love people, and so I studied social work and then, which was a really great foundation, I think, for hospitality and taking care of others, even as a writer. So then I made the switch. After, you know, I was telling you. We lived overseas for a while.
Speaker 2:My husband was with the military, so I had this chunk of time to kind of, you know, kind of figure out what direction I wanted to take, just career wise, and that's when I decided to study writing, um, and go to Chicago for school, um, but yeah, I think that's where that love of um, hospitality and I, you know, my, my publisher actually was like put the word hospitality on the cover because people can like it's.
Speaker 2:It's a word that people understand, um versus like I. I can't remember what my subtitle was at the beginning, but it had to do with just taking care of other people and yourself and um. But I thought, if I put the word gentle in front of it, that helps describe this approach that I'm trying to communicate to others and how to do hospitality in a way that is sustainable, that's calm, that is good for, you know, not just you as the person taking care, but also, well, not just the person you're taking care, but also for yourself. And so, kind of getting into that general hospitality space felt like, oh, that's how I, you know, really like kind of latched on to what I wanted this specific book to be about.
Speaker 1:That's so sweet and refreshing and hearing the words calm and you know, like in front and gentle, in front of hospitality, people probably are like wait what? Because as a culture, like we almost don't know what that looks like. It's not something that a lot of us experience in our communities or like in our families. It's chaotic, like we see the memes of the crazy hustle and bustle before hospitality, or like the screaming mom and then she opens the door and then she's peaceful, right, it's like the family behind closed doors and the family when the door opens and all of those, like you know, contrasting things. But it doesn't have to be that way and that's what we're talking about today, which is so needed now, because I think we're burning out when it comes to hospitality. We have hospitality burnout as a culture and we're craving something different and I think this is very timely and poignant. You know what's so funny? I've heard that word a lot lately and I'm like I want to use it. Did I use that right? Perfect, just oh, I'm so proud.
Speaker 1:Like that's a great word, but poignant.
Speaker 2:Okay, I even love how it's spelled. Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know if I knew this. I studied social work too. Did you know that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Yep, Well kindred, no wonder.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yeah, and in my social work program I'm pretty sure I've shared this before I wanted to have a minor in business and I was discouraged not to, and so I dropped it. I shouldn't have listened, but I did. And then before that I wanted to go to culinary school and I had some kind of food stuff going on in my own life and I was like that's probably not a healthy time for me to pursue that. But all of these things, god was kind of paving the way. He's like I'm going to plant this little seed on food and creativity and this little seed in business and it's amazing how um I think the career industry is. It's just like changing. You don't have to follow this like I don't know hard track. It can kind of all come together and create something unique.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is. It's very hard when you're starting out to understand where it could lead, and that's like my life experience is so incredibly valuable and just try staying open to try different things. But no, I love that. That was your background too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and I think I think what I was trying to communicate is it's important to be aware of like, those, I don't know, those varying interests. They can all come together and birth something really needed for a very changing culture, right, yeah, goodness, okay, oh also, I wrote a quick note. If anyone sees me typing, I can't find a paper and pen right now, so I'm typing my questions. I should have supplied you. I have a lot. I love paper. I love paper, but I'm curious your experience with your parents' hospitality? Okay, so that's the generation that I call like, the entertaining generation. So there was a lot of like. So, okay, this is very, a very general statement, but it was very much focused on entertaining people, not as focused on like, authenticity and connection, generally speaking. So what was your experience with your parents' hospitality? If you want to go there, if you're not comfortable, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Oh sure I. So. My dad is a little bit more introverted. He's a very like one-on-one person, and my mom definitely brought in that entertain. You know, you get out your best dishes, we. I remember times as a little kid like wearing a, like a small apron. You know, like I have three sisters, we all had matching aprons for the dinner party, so there was like a level of formality that existed in the, in the like the meal, or the, the entertainment piece of it itself, where, where I, what I really loved, though, was actually the conversation, and that was like the very like genuine and let your guard down piece of it. So like, wow, the, the sort of setting had that entertainment kind of generation thing that you're talking about. The conversation didn't Wow.
Speaker 1:That was unique for that. Like that generation, I think.
Speaker 2:I think so too. I I think they also just loved people so much, and so at some point it just you know the not that it was a performance, I don't think it was a performance but I think that's where hospitality can go, you know, especially in that realm. And so you know you can't hold onto that for very long. It just sort of falls apart, and so even at the end of the night, you know, all it is is just like connecting and loving the person that you have over.
Speaker 1:So I love it. That was your model, an example. I think once you have that modeled to you, that's like you don't want anything else because you're like this is so rich and like why would I change it? That's so good. And you know, sometimes people will say, well, katie, sometimes you do show things that are very beautiful or very curated when it comes to hospitality, and I get it. And I know that that's not everyone's interest or value or anything like that, but for me I find that there's dignity in the details and I love making the meal space Not every time, oh my gosh. Sometimes we're getting takeout pizza or I'm doing chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries, but I do enjoy making I don't know the table space or the hospitality space like um, a space of like reverence and dignity, and so there's a balance that's allowed here.
Speaker 2:There is a balance. I've been thinking about that a lot because I like I really love design and decorating and sometimes I feel guilty for that. I'm been thinking about that a lot because I really love design and decorating and sometimes I feel guilty for that. I'm like, oh, I shouldn't care, I don't want to be materialistic, any of that stuff, but I am wired that way and I love to be able to give that to people too, and so I agree, there is a balance. I'm not trying to make a showcase. A there is a balance. I'm not trying to make a show a showcase, but you know cause? I want everybody to feel comfortable, but like when you can bring artistry into, you know, just your imagination, into something that you're giving to others, I think it's wonderful and it's from your heart.
Speaker 1:People can sense the intention. Exactly that you said. It's from the heart. Like people can sense the intention If it's if it's like I love. These, for example, people always bring up pillows. It's like if I love. If I have these throw pillows on my couch, you know, and they're like rock hard. Okay, yeah, like that's, that's for me, you know, that's like that's for the look, but you could still have a pretty throw pillow, make it comfortable. So there are different details like that and like my charcuterie boards. I'm not like hovering over people like don't touch this, don't touch that. It's like I want to really bless you and excite you over this exciting experience at my table, but then rip it apart.
Speaker 2:I don't care, like you know there's, there's, there's a little bit of balance. I do need a lesson from you, by the way, because you make some really great beautiful pieces, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:There was one other. Oh, I bring up this TED Talk all the time, but if you haven't heard it, I think you'd really enjoy it. I think it's called Design and Dignity from John Kerry. Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Have you heard it?
Speaker 1:No, I think I sent Andrea it. I send everybody this link. No, I think I sent Andrea it. I send everybody this link. It's this guy that studies architecture and specifically the connection of dignity and details and like design, like that whole thing and they were. He's been on teams like designing hospitals, designing homeless shelters, and it's like there is so much power in the details and if once we see it, we unlock this whole side of community and connection and so, oh, I can't wait, I'm sold. He's come out with like a bunch of coffee table books and I still don't own one.
Speaker 1:I don't know how that's possible because I've probably all the views on that video are from me. But anyways, let's dive in a little further about your expertise. So you are very passionate about the concept of approaching hospitality with what you have, and I feel like a lot of people hearing that probably just took an exhale because that's not what we're screamed at all day long as we're scrolling socials, right, and so we don't even know what that looks like. I think most of us hospitality with what we have because there's guilt involved, there's shame involved, probably different layers of that, and so I would love for you to dive into this. What does this look like to you? Played out, what do you? What do you teach people when it comes to this?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll start quickly, just like with where I kind of picked it up because I think that that's informative. I hope that that's helpful. Part of my a rustic camping experience for women to step into. We didn't have infinite resources. We had a huge piece of land where we didn't I mean you can't it's, I mean we're in Ohio, it's not, it's not like Colorado, you know. So you're, it's not this picturesque experience.
Speaker 2:And so we had to think of, like, really like, resourceful, creative ways to host women who are coming into this and there were also hundreds of women. So it was, you know, we, we really had to be intentional and thoughtful about how we were going to be able to pull this off, and it was. So it was actually really wonderful and fun to try to solve this problem and we just ended up doing things like, you know, sheets were cheaper than tablecloths and so we did sort of this bohemian, you know, kind of sheets and we had women help us with the work. So actually feeding that many women a feast is obviously very labor intensive, but they became a part of that and like the fruition of that was really neat to watch unfold. And so that it's not. That's not where it started for me, because I think it started like, really young, how do you create just with the things that are in front of you and the time that you have to? You know so, not just your physical resources, but the time that you have to offer it, and how do you do that? But this was like a really good for me, like another sort of a teaching ground of like, ok, what do we actually have? We can't break our backs because we're going to have to repeat this next year. It has to be sustainable. We we want women to feel loved and connected to the environment, but also we can't transform the entire 500 acres, right? So we had to make choices like that.
Speaker 2:And I think that the hospitality with what you have as soon as I my sister actually pointed it out she's like I think what you're talking about is just using what you have, cause that's the way that you know, that's the way that you design things. And it felt as soon as she said it, I was like, oh, that is that's what's given so much freedom. And it's made me feel like, um, you know, even if what I have is three little children, um, and they're noisy, okay, so what I have is noise and children who need naps, and, uh, at this point we did not have any place to sleep a guest other than a basement couch. So we're like what, how do you, how do you use that? And?
Speaker 2:But you still have people who would love to stay overnight when they pass through town, or you want to extend the invitation, and so just thinking of ways to, you know, take, take a coffee maker downstairs, set up a little, a little scene that feels like, you know, a welcoming environment. We didn't, not that I never overstretched, because I definitely overstretched and I had to learn how to, how to pare that back. But like, how do you, how do you take care of others with without, like, sacrificing too much? I recognize love is sacrifice, but if you are going to make this a part of your every day, it has to be something that you can pull off without going broke, without stressing out your family. You know all of those factors, so that's really good.
Speaker 1:That's really really good, and I'm going to have an episode in the next few weeks where I talk about my son's birthday party. But you know, we're getting ready to celebrate Wesley's first birthday and there are a lot of people in our season right now that love him so much and that we love so much, and Colby and I have been back from Thailand almost I don't even want to say almost six years. It's like so weird and sad to say, but like we have worked very, very hard for community in this season and it's like, oh my gosh, we finally have this robust list of people that we would love to have there, and but we're also in a season of a lot of waiting, with different business things and a lot of expenses, not where we would like like to be financially, all of those things Right. And so I was like, okay, one thing I'm not willing to do is cut this guest list, and so we have to figure out how to, how to get everyone there, how to make it work, and so I know that there's a season of life where maybe we will be renting the tables and doing full catering, but for us I was like, okay, let's get creative.
Speaker 1:And it was so cool because there was this initial thought for me. I was like, okay, I'm going to ask this family friend if she could make this huge tray of mac and cheese. And my first thought was like, oh my gosh, they're going to say Katie's so cheap, like that's so cheap, or whatever. Right To ask. I think that that's a cultural kind of narrative. And she was like, oh my gosh, of course I would love to do that for Wesley. That was her response. And then I was like, man, let me go down the list. Can, Can I borrow the tables? Can I borrow the chairs?
Speaker 1:And this whole event came together and I was like, oh my gosh, this isn't just a way that I'm using what we have, it's almost. It like makes me teary. I think it's going to that day. It became this like community event, and so I think that there's a lot there. I think that you know Pinterest or Instagram culture with these macro influencers with huge houses and probably massive budgets, which I'm so, how fun, right, how fun. But that's not the everyday norm of hospitality. Like you said, Colby and I have passed through towns and slept on people's futons in the basement and felt so loved, you know Um, and so we need to stop waiting and start using what we have.
Speaker 2:And I love that you're also using what others have, like what you were describing, because I think that's that's such a beautiful piece of it, because people also want to make the offering and then when they're a part of that, I mean it's why you know well, I guess it's just you share that like oneness and the creation of something. That's a wonderful invitation to be the actual part of it too.
Speaker 1:I. I don't know the exact like how the exact phrase goes, but I remember a few years ago when someone was offering help and I was like, oh no, thank you, but they could tell I needed it. Um, it was something practical and they said something along the lines of don't take the opportunity to be generous away from me.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:have you heard something like like you know?
Speaker 2:what I'm getting at.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was like, oh my goodness, yes, yeah, because it is going to bless you so much. Right Like this is I. Yeah, I need to chew on that a little bit more, but that's powerful, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is, and I think, like being being like a receiver, a recipient, which can be very humbling but is so important, and I think it it takes that again it's another layer of pressure that it takes off of you. I write a little bit about, like, like we are not the saviors, we do not provide everything be everything and so, like, allowing others to, to give back to us and or, you know, be a part of the experience, it it, like, it reminds you, like, like who you are and what and what your place is. You know you're not the be all, end all.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, there's so much there that I think a lot of us need to just like sit with right, because, yeah, it's really good and I think you know I've talked a little bit about this too when we allow ourselves to show up for people, kind of where we're at, it allows them to show up in the same way, instead of waiting for this perfectly curated like whatever experience for people that's not people's every day. So if we're craving this everyday community, everyday hospitality, we have to show up with what we have and where we're at.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good. Okay, well, you teach about gentleness as an approach to caregiving. This is very intriguing to me, and so I think that we've lost a caregiving focus on hospitality Again. It's very I don't even think that this is intentional. I think it's this like subconscious message that we've just adopted as like a lens to hospitality, but we've become very much like how does this make me look? What does this say about my financial situation? What does this say about my family and my marriage? Right, but again, so we've lost an outside, other approach to hospitality, and I think that hospitality also appears to be a bit rugged right now in culture. We were talking about those memes and angsty and all of those things. So let's dive into this. What is gentleness as an approach to caregiving or hospitality? Look like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I mean, and maybe in a lot of ways, it's like it is kind of this with with what you have. It is kind of this with what you have and it's gentle in my mind, because it fits your life without like breaking, you know, your back. It's like to be, I think of it as like soft landings and even if this could be in your home, this could just be like an experience that you have with someone you haven't met at the airport or on the sidewalk, you know so, but just creating like this um, uh, a safe and calm, you know, environment for someone, even if it's, you know, simply in a, in a conversation where you're, where you're not trying to like outshine or outpace again, you know to your point, like, um, not not feeling like you have to be that center of attention, um, but you are just offering someone to be with you in that space, um, so, like you're, you're comfortable with what you have, you're comfortable with what you have to offer, and I think that's a very to me, that's a very gentle place to be. I was thinking actually recently about how, just in public speaking, how, they coach you Like if you, if you are like kind of worked up on stage or really nervous or kind of fretting your audience, you know it's it's like horses, right, or dogs. They just they pick right up on that that nervous energy. And I think it's the same thing when you're trying to take care of someone. So if you are, you know, frenetic or you know overly focused on yourself, like you shut down that connection.
Speaker 2:I think when you kind of make someone else sort of feel, feel that way a bit, you know, and so if you can stay in that, you know kind of in that sort of gentle space, I think it's, I think it's helpful. And I say gentle, I mean I know like some people wouldn't describe themselves as gentle, like, oh well, I'm like boisterous and outgoing, and gentle doesn't fit me. That's amazing. It's not like your personality, it's more just like how you know. Again, it's like this this is what I have to offer and I'm I genuinely am like inviting you into that?
Speaker 2:Um, I'm not on show you know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember I did a question and answer box for some reason. This random example came to mind and someone was like, is it okay to go to someone's house without a hostess gift? Like, is that okay? And I just think that there is a grace and a permission to show up where you're at right I think that's kind of what you're saying Like it doesn't have to be perfectly curated and perfectly like tied with everything, doesn't have to be like tied up with a bow or fitting cultural expectations, perfectly Like.
Speaker 1:I remember someone invited me to their adult baptism at a church recently and I went and I was like, oh my gosh, I have to get a gift, I have to bring flowers and I wasn't able to and that broke my heart because I love giving. But I still went and I was there for her. She asked me to be there, so I showed up. Honestly, she was thrilled that I was there, very thankful. I left still feeling guilty that I didn't have a gift to give her again, because that would have been how I wanted to respond. We met for coffee a few weeks later and she had a gift for me and I was like what is this? It's not my birthday, nothing. And she said this is because you were there that night and I was like, oh, my goodness, I think that just gave me a permission into what you're saying, this gentleness, to kind of let go of these expectations that I have on myself of, yeah, perfection, and yeah, and and, to just be. That's what people, that's what people are craving, right? Oh, I love that yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, that's good. And I don't know, gentleness can transfer into so many different areas of taking care of people, but really that's. I think people are craving the simplicity of things right now less, less production, less bells and whistles and more more heart. Yeah, yeah, so it's. It's kind of a muscle that needs to be practiced, but once you, once you get an interaction like that, it's like oh, wow, okay, yeah, I could do this.
Speaker 2:Yes, totally.
Speaker 1:That's good. Were you going to say something?
Speaker 2:Well, I was was thinking to just how I, how it also can apply to design and like in your home, and so, like one of the so to me, like gentleness is also, like you, you don't like have to attack the entire thing. You know, like it's very difficult to um, make make everything feel the way you want it to feel. Uh, so I kind of I talk about it a little bit in the book but like where, if you can just create a small scene, you know, in the middle of a chaotic environment or whatever it is, um, I, I love uh, bathrooms, powder rooms, and I think about that as like that's a space that your guests will go into and close the door and maybe even need to regroup. Right, like you know, you have a shy person who's in your house and like this is like a little moment of respite for them. So I just think about, like, what makes what makes a place like that feel, like a place where you can take a deep breath?
Speaker 2:Um, what are some little things that you can, you know, put it up, put in a powder room for that? Um, and so I, just I do things like um, I, I actually saw this. This was not my idea, but just someone who had just a little tin box and it had a few necessities and it kind of like, if you go to if you go to a really nice I don't know do you like spas or hotels might have this right A little bit of like perfume, some room spray, some matches things, tampons, things that would just put someone at ease and allow them to go back into, you know, whatever is outside of that door. Yeah, so that to me is like taking just making a little scene for someone. That's a very like gentle approach. Maybe you can't transform your whole house, but you can get. You can get a corner and a bathroom and you know a little spot.
Speaker 1:That's really really sweet and really just like a relief for people. I feel like not every single detail has to be curated. You know, I know our living room right now. We've been in this temporary rental for five years now and we're so grateful for it, but it's definitely not like a hundred percent ours. But this last year I was like I need to start making some changes that feel a little bit more like ours, and I went to HomeGoods and found this gorgeous like ceramic vase, like those kind of Italian looking ones that are trending right now, and I put it on the coffee table. It transformed the whole room and so just little pieces like that that make me feel me feel at rest there, my guests hopefully feel at rest. It's good.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love that you like step forward and did that, cause I know it can be. You can also just kind of want to give up and be like there's no way that I can make this place feel like us. I mean we lived in military housing and rentals and some places I was like there's no way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, seriously.
Speaker 2:But then I, then I like denied, denied myself the chance to try to, you know, like, make those places feel like you said, like where you feel at ease as well, or just like you know a couple of things that are beautiful. It's OK if the rest is vinyl and the color of you know cream. I think yes, but yeah, so it's, it's good.
Speaker 1:I know I can go in a whole different direction with that too, but I some of these things might get repetitive to my listeners, but I remember one of the first things our mentors told us on the field in Thailand was hang the pictures. Hang the pictures, cause then I have to, I have to seal the whatever. What do you call that? When you have to like walls on the wall, you're like, oh, it's going to be such a nightmare, I'm not going to hang the pictures. And they were like, just hang the pictures and it's funny and that's that's very um, I don't want to keep using the word powerful, but it makes a statement. When you hang pictures, you know it's like for your heart, for your guests, all of those things.
Speaker 1:And when we moved into this temporary rental, I like I was in such a funny heart posture. I was like I will not hang the pictures because I was like I will not stay here, like we will move. And here we are, for whatever reason, god still has us here. And I think it took me three years to hang the pictures and I'm just, I'm so thankful, I'm so thankful I did, and I did use command hooks. I was like I will not patch those holes, but they are on my wall with Velcro command hooks, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that's such a concrete example of like you know, like making, like believing that you are also worth this space that you take when you land and stop Right and and not either being sort of the rebellious of like I'm, you know, I don't want this, so I'm not going to even like permeate it or it's or it's not worth it, but but I think it's very worth it.
Speaker 1:I love that your mentors like that, like very tangible oasis, because our work there was heavy yeah and um and then also hang the pictures. So I think that what I'm hearing through our conversation is hospitality is really an ebb and flow, and try it Like there's an um, an ebb and flow of like intentionality and gentleness. Intentionality and gentle, like it's, it's really, it's really sweet. And I think what I'm really hoping our listeners adopt or like step into is hospitality is really a lifestyle and it's a lifelong learning and heart work. You know all of these things that it's not just an event, it's not just preparing for an event, it's, it's a lifestyle and yeah, well, um, let's chat about something else.
Speaker 1:So so many of us are craving simplicity and routine in life right now. I know I am, my husband and I just adopted a morning meeting for our family and I don't know if it's going to become every morning or maybe once a week, but we just need some a little bit of structure and to kind of like bring calm to some of the chaos. Demands feel kind of like never ending in culture right now. We're chatting right now in real time at the start of a school year for a lot of people, and you talk a lot about making kits as a way of taking care of people. As I'm reading this, maybe these two don't go together for you, they kind of did for me as I was reading it. So feel free to take it in a different direction, but walk us through what we can adopt in this concept of making kits Like. So for me I read that as like prep, but maybe it's not so you just, you just kind of run with it.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I think the first thing before kits that came to mind is and I think, especially as a working mother and a creative, that I I can, my mind can go in a lot of directions, I can have my hands in a lot of things, and and also a lot is just required of you, and so one of my like favorite practices that I don't know I maybe started eight, nine years ago was just was starting in the morning with an index card and a sharpie and just these are.
Speaker 2:These are the things I'm doing today.
Speaker 2:It was a little bit less of like it sounds, maybe just like a task list, but I think for me it helped, like it was very grounding. My mind had a hard time holding everything together, you know, or I would get distracted or something, and so just having you know just these eight to 10 things or the conversations that I was going to have, it wasn't just like, uh, you know, clean the dishes or send that email, but even you know some other stuff, and I think that that that as a routine helped it, that created simplicity for me and it was something that I could just return to and, um, they brought a lot of peace. So that's not the kits but that's just like an everyday practice. That's helped me, even as a creative, and I also. They're very like, actionable, so like when I was working on this book. Not helpful to write down on my list, like write chapter 10, writing an introduction to chapter 10 is a doable daily task but you know, like breaking it into the actual things that you can do was another helpful thing.
Speaker 1:But I love it. Yeah, it's practical.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like your morning meetings, it's the same thing. You just that's in the, you know, the company of your husband, that's good. And then the kits. I remember when I was, I read this somewhere and it was like it was a little bit more like house cleaning based, but it was where it was like you know, you kind of whatever you need to clean your rooms, you're kind of carrying it around with you, it's like this portable thing.
Speaker 2:And when I was working, I did a little work with photography and styling scenes to get ready for a photo shoot, and a friend and I were getting ready for this and we ended up, just we had all of our items set out and we put we each had a laundry basket and we filled it with the things that we needed to set up this scene and we carried it down to the city and walked down the street with our laundry baskets and we set up and did the work and then and then put it back in the basket and carried it back home and it was this, it was so it brought a lot of ease to the situation because it was just all together, it wasn't too much and it worked, and so I started thinking about that just with, like, if you host someone, like what in your, in your home, let's, let's for the overnight guests, like what are the things that are that'll be your go-to things that you're going to give to those guests? So it could be you know the fitted sheet and the sheet, and it could be a book and a candle and a water carafe or whatever you know the the things that you would use a fresh bar of soap. So in your, even if it's just in your mind. I don't even write these things down, I just I I've done, I've done them enough.
Speaker 2:Now where I'm like, okay, this is what I do for an overnight guest, or this is how I take food for our family, Cause we're often at, like, basketball games late at night and so, like this is how we do a meal in the bleachers, and because I have like a rhythm set up but I know the little parts and pieces that'll go into this kit it's, I can do things a little bit more spontaneously, Like I'm not thrown by. How are we going to eat dinner, you know, and it's 8 PM and I've three hungry, you know, like all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, that's the kit approach.
Speaker 1:It's, that's so, it's really good, it's really actionable for people and, yeah, I again it goes along with. That concept of hospitality is not like a one-time thing, it's kind of like a lifestyle. When you set yourself up for success in that area. It takes away that, that angst and that added like that burnout, that road to burnout Right, and it's yeah, and it's one of those things that when life there is a little bit of a lull in life, or maybe on a weekend, you refresh the kits and then you're ready when things are busy and you need to be spontaneous.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really good, really good. I was thinking as you were saying that for Wesley's party I had a rule for myself because my last two events were almost just as big and one of them I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I didn't get to talk to anybody and that broke my heart because I loved everyone that was there. And then the other event was like a logistical nightmare. I had almost 100 people and I chose to make kebabs like personally make like chicken and vegetable kebabs, and it was such a disaster and so it was awful. People were walking in the house, there was raw chicken everywhere we were grilling we ran out of, like it was so bad.
Speaker 1:And so I was like no, my rule, like my overarching umbrella for this event, is peace, and I want to celebrate our baby boy and I'm going to say yes to every person that offers to help. And so I have made kits, I. So I again, I live for this kind of thing and so I love it. So maybe not everyone listening would take the same approach, but I broke every event, every part of the event, into a station and then I assign each person a station. And so I'm like you know what I would love if you overlooked, like, the bathroom for the event. So we only have one bathroom and we have about 75 guests.
Speaker 1:And so I was like can you just like every half hour? Here's the little basket. If the towel needs to be refreshed, here's fresh towels. If there needs to be more toilet paper, here's the toilet paper. I do have one of those little baskets that you were talking about with just like gum and hand sanitizer and whatever. But again, I did. I didn't call it a kit, but I guess it is. I've created these kits for all the different stations and even, um, trying to think, oh, we're doing a pie table for dessert, and so I have this kit that's going to go under the table of like extra plates, extra napkins, pie servers, um and so whoever is in charge of like that station, even if it ends up being me everything is there. Everything is there.
Speaker 2:So, I think that's, that's so good and again, it's so concrete.
Speaker 2:I think, um, I've learned how to do that too, Like a pro, because I think what happens is you, you try to play every role and you've just, you've just put it into buckets or stations and you can like assign someone, like I used to. It was so hard for me. I'm like, how do I get sort of everybody a drink in hand pretty soon after they come through the door? And what would happen is I would be trying to, I would like give someone a drink, and then then you're like talking to them, of course, and so you can't, you can't hand out 10 more.
Speaker 2:And so I have a friend who I'm, she's just like I don't know she's so good at all of it, and I was like, can you, can you just get a drink? And everybody like that's you'd be that person, Um, and it eases, if you know, going for that, that piece, um, it really it, it, it takes again, it takes something off of your plate so that you can be present with someone and also gives that person, um, something to to do and also focus on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good, it's really good. I think it's like a new wave, a new way of looking at hospitality. I think this culture is less like serve everybody hand and foot, but more kind of make it a communal, communal experience. Right, and I've learned, too, that including people in hospitality teaches them something. I'm not saying that I have everything to teach, but the more we include people, that's where people learn about different ways to approach hospitality, and I've learned so much by people including me at their houses. I want to include them at mine, and I love the kit concept and as an entrepreneur, I'm like Ooh, that's very interesting, do something with it. I wonder what kind of shop we could make out of those kits.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I am looking at the time and I do not want to rush this. I'm sure that I would love to have you back and have more conversations and collaborate in more ways. I have another exciting conversation after this too, so I'm going to close on this question for you. Um, so you know we're talking a lot about like well, we didn't actually dive into this as much as I would have liked. I want to hear more about the creative side of what you do, but we both are creatives and I think that it's so important for us to keep creativity alive in our lives and for those of us that, where work is creative, it's hard to have outlets outside of that to be able to like, refresh ourselves and to prevent burnout. So I'd love to hear you talk about this. Actually, where was I going with this? Did I not finish this question? I didn't finish writing this question.
Speaker 2:Mark, and I'll try to think of um. Okay, For how do you stay um like, how do you sort of keep your imagination going or dream, yeah?
Speaker 1:Let's go that direction or we just close. You know I'm going to go a different direction. Okay, so you are celebrating the launch of your new book. Remind me the release date. I should know this.
Speaker 2:Oh no, it's totally fine, it was August 6th.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, my goodness. So we're still fresh, though we're still fresh in like the launch celebration.
Speaker 2:It feels very fresh, that's true.
Speaker 1:Let there be havens, and it is so, so beautiful and such a breath of peace and fresh air in the industry. What didn't we talk about? That is in the book that you are like. Oh, I really want, I really want your community to know about it.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, that's a good question. My friend's focaccia recipe is in there, so I have to just call it out because it's so good. I made it the other day, though, and I forgot to spray the wax paper, you know, also with nonstick peel and peel, but it's okay, because I still ate it Like that's. That's how good Elise Smith is. Her recipe is in that, um, but what? Let's see, what did I? What do I want to still say to your sweet listeners um or just send them where to buy it.
Speaker 1:You could take it either direction oh, where to buy, where to buy the book? Yeah, yeah, if you I mean if we covered, if we covered all the bases you could just send them like, tell them where to buy it, or whatever direction you want to go.
Speaker 2:Sure, I have just a LizBellYoungcom website, but then you can get the book Amazon, barnes and Noble Target I am doing if anybody's in Texas, in October I'm going to do a book signing at the Silobration at Magnolia. Stop it, yeah. So it would be fun to meet more people there and you can meet my family because they're all coming.
Speaker 1:It's on my I don't like using the term bucket list, that makes me sad but my life dream list to attend a celebration. We're just so far from Texas, so logistically, it would just be a big deal to plan a trip. Yes're just so far from Texas, so like logistically, it would just be like a big deal, you know, to plan a trip.
Speaker 2:Yes it is for us too, I, I relate.
Speaker 1:Soak it up, though. I am so excited for you. Thank you, thank you. Wow, wow, how sweet. That's really fun. Well, yeah, definitely go visit Liz and go to the celebrations. Yeah, listen're near Waco.
Speaker 2:Listen to Johnny swim and like, oh my God, everything about that is just a dream.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful place. Yeah, wow, really sweet, okay, well, we end each of our conversations with the same three questions, and I want to hear your answers as well, okay, so the first is something you have eaten recently and loved, oh, well, that focaccia, what I've got my mind on.
Speaker 2:I also, this is so. But you're a Trader Joe's lover too, aren't you? Yes, big time, yeah, oh, my goodness, I mean, just give me the pepper coated salami, like just those slices. I could eat just half of that container.
Speaker 1:Love that. Go for the full one. Go for the full one. Why stop at half? I always joke with my friends. I'm like, I am your big portion friend. Like you don't have to feel bad about like getting the large ice cream you like. I won't judge you.
Speaker 2:That's so wonderful, your big portion friend. Yeah, I'm going to remember that one, kate. I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get a big salad and finish it. Yeah, get the large fry. No, I'm kidding, it's all in balance. It's all in balance, okay. A gathering that you attended that made you feel a strong sense of belonging, and if you could pinpoint it, what it was that made you feel that way?
Speaker 2:Oh, I, I went to a mother daughter camp recently my daughter's nine and they set up something. Okay, I did. I did not think that I was going to like this at all, but it was silent disco, um, so under a huge tent, you know, you put on the headphones, you can choose your station, what you want to listen to, so you can't hear anybody else, but everybody is singing and dancing to their own music. And then sometimes you link up to somebody else and then we all had like glow sticks and necklaces and all that and it was a riot. And I think so beyond just the fun, because it was so sweet to see moms and daughters kind of doing this stuff together. But what was so neat is is people just like letting their guard down I mean, I haven't danced and you know, done that in like so long Um, and then just to be in, you know, to be in a place where everybody's doing it was, was so neat, um, but yeah, silent disco, that was a gathering, unexpected.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. That's so good. Out of your comfort zone, that's really fun. Okay, and this is my favorite question recently, something you've discovered recently that you think everyone should know about a Netflix show Amazon purchase anything.
Speaker 2:Um, well, yesterday my son was homesick with strep throat, and so we went and bought a silent basketball. Um, have you, have you seen these? Um, you might soon, in a few years, in your household. But like it's the regular size of a basketball, it balances just like a basketball, but it's kind of made out of foam and some kind of coating, and it was so much fun. So we just played basketball in the kitchen last night and we had a laundry basket as our hamper or I mean uh, yeah, a laundry basket.
Speaker 2:There you go, I followed, I followed um, but it was a riot and I'm like it really is quiet and so you know, when you'd like a peaceful house, get a silent basketball. It's helpful.
Speaker 1:I'm all for it, oh my goodness. Well, this was so rich and as we're closing out the conversation, I'm like man, there are so many different like shoots of this that we could have kept talking about, but that's the best. So leave people hanging. And wanting more, which is where they can go go get your book. Let their be havens. And wanting more, which is where they can go, go get your book. Let there be havens. And we will attach the link in the show notes, the link to your socials and your website and all of that. And, oh my goodness, if every, if anyone sees you at silo operation, send me a picture. Serious FOMO now. Oh my goodness, I did for you kind of wish. I didn't know that Cause. Now you like plan, you know, like how can I get there, but enjoy it Soak it up.
Speaker 1:And we are so thankful that you took the time to be on the show today. And, guys, we will see you next week.