Making Room by Gather

You Are Worthy: Navigating Purpose in the In-Between

Kayty Helgerson, Eryn Eddy Adkins Episode 151

What happens when our self-worth gets entangled with pain? When dark seasons leave us questioning not just our value, but our very purpose? Erin Eddy Adkins  knows this terrain intimately.

Erin takes us behind the curtain of her journey through divorce. She reveals how this dark season led her to choices made in response to trauma—choices that ultimately taught her the profound connection between how we value ourselves and how we allow others to treat us.

 This understanding became the foundation for her clothing brand and community that bridges pain and shame toward self-worth awareness.

Beyond personal transformation, our conversation ventures into the entrepreneurial wilderness, where consistency battles with comparison and obedience doesn't always yield immediate results.  Her refreshing perspective offers a counternarrative to hustle culture while acknowledging the very real struggles creative entrepreneurs face.

Whether you're navigating your own dark season, questioning your worth, or simply tired of performing your way to belonging, this episode offers gentle wisdom from someone who's walked through the fire and emerged with a message: "You're worthy to show up to the thing that makes you come alive." Join us for this intimate conversation about finding worth in our wounds and purpose in our pain.

Learn more about Eryn Here

-----------

This episode was sponsored by our friends at:

 N-2 Water! Looking for a way to hydrate with all the complete nutrients you need? Wanting to improve your hydrations and health with easy and flavors you'll love? We LOVE N-2 and know that you will to! Head on over to their website and use code EARLYSIPS to save at checkout

Speaker 1:

Hey guys, welcome back to Making Room. I am so glad you're here. You know this in this season, I am really trying to offer topics that we haven't had yet on the show, really trying to expand on all the areas that we have previously focused on food, design and relationships. And when I heard about this guest, this platform, this story, I knew that it was one that I had to bring to you guests, this platform, this story, I knew that it was one that I had to bring to you.

Speaker 1:

Erin Eddie Adkins is someone that you might know of. You might follow her, but in case you don't, here is a little bit more about her. She is the founder and CEO of so Worth Loving, a lifestyle brand that uses apparel and community to bridge pain and shame towards an awareness of self Okay, this word is always a tongue twister for me Self worth, slow and steady. Katie, with 15 years of impactful storytelling. Her work has reached hundreds of thousands worldwide and has been featured on CNN and Oprah. That is pretty cool. She is the co-host of our Daily Bread Ministries podcast God Hears Her and the author of so Worth Loving.

Speaker 1:

This conversation is going to dance between topics of dark seasons and coming out of them, entrepreneurship and, I'm sure, a lot of other laughs and conversations in between. But before we dive in, you guys, if you've listened to our past few episodes, you will know that I am hooked on our new friends at N2. Colby and I are learning a ton about health in this season as we're goodness, just getting older. I mean, that sounds so pathetic. We're young 30s but we're feeling it. Life is different, bodies are different. We have Wesley now and we're just wanting to be intentional about our health, and N2 is helping us do that. They are scientifically formulated, great tasting on-the-go hydration sticks that we are crazy about the flavor of. They are not too salty, just enough to replenish you and refresh you, but they're crave-worthy. We have been having them every single day and are very excited to share them with friends. They help to make sure that you are receiving the vital nutrients lost in every day's process. World Sip after sip, with only five simple ingredients, with ocean source minerals, calcium, magnesium, sodium. They are totally natural no artificial dyes, no artificial sweeteners or sweeteners at all. And you can get your hands on some with the code EARLYSIPS E-A-R-L-Y-S-I-P-S for 20% off your purchase the first time you order and two packets for your family.

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Katie, a hospitality educator and the host of Making Room by Gather podcast. I am set to see our communities get back to the table through hospitality, but it wasn't always this way. My husband and I moved to Thailand and through it I experienced some loneliness and with it I was given a choice to sit back and accept it or to do something about it, and for me that meant two things that I needed the healing to learn how to accept an invitation and the confidence to know how to extend one. Through this process, I developed some of the richest and deepest relationships of my life.

Speaker 1:

Through Making Room by Gather, you will hear conversations from myself and experts in the areas of food, design and relationships. You see there are countless things trying to keep us from the table, but can I tell you something? Take a seat because you are ready, you are capable, you are a good. Okay, welcome. That trailer was so beautiful, thank you. I told a guest a few weeks ago. We had a different show trailer, like the first year of the show, and I was in the shower one day good old shower and I just had fresh vision.

Speaker 2:

That's where the best ideas come from.

Speaker 1:

Really no, but really that is my heart, I think for so long, my story was that I was learning, that I had to learn how to extend an invitation, and I was like man, there's another part of this story I also had to learn how to receive one, and so, yeah, it's a huge part of my heart. I love that. I love it and yay for good creative directors right, I love it. And yay for good creative directors right. And teams Come on, you did a beautiful job, goodness. Well, you, my friend, have your hands in a lot of really sweet projects and I love a multi-passionate friend.

Speaker 2:

So expand on some of this. Tell us what you're working on right now. Yeah, oh, what I'm working on right now. So I own so Worth Loving. It's a lifestyle clothing company. It originally started from spray painting t-shirts for free on a Tumblr blog and then fast forward like 15 years later. I now am launching a podcast with so Worth Loving.

Speaker 2:

So we're going to be having honest conversations about the struggles of worth and that's something that I've witnessed just in the last 15 years of its origin was the reason people wanted to wear the message that they're so worth loving was because they wanted to remind themselves and remind others, because it's very common to feel unworthy of love, but uncommon to talk about it. And if we talk about it and we all know this it's like if we talk about it, we tell a friend something. We feel all of a sudden like, oh wait, what I experienced that too Like we have those conversations often. Um, well, we can have those conversations often and I want to capture them on recording. So that's one thing I'm working on is is this baby that's going to be launched into the world in the summer?

Speaker 1:

So sweet, so sweet. I love this world, obviously, and love encouraging others in this space. Well, it was so funny to read or not funny, but sweet to my heart to read the Our Daily Bread Ministries podcast. So, growing up that was just a part of my life, that was a part of my faith experience the Our Daily Bread.

Speaker 2:

I love that.

Speaker 1:

Little books, right? I mean, that's the same ministry, right.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, so I am a co-host to a podcast called God Hears Her and I remember the Our Daily Bread devotionals that my mom would just have laying around and I had no idea that they were anything beyond that. And then I looked into the ministry when they reached out about me being a co-host and I just learned I didn't realize it started off as a radio station. I didn't realize that they translate the devotions in like 150 languages, so it's not just Western Christianity, but it's globally. Who is God, and that's how they really fine tune their devotions, which just made me have way more respect and inspiration from them. That's cool.

Speaker 1:

I haven't seen, I haven't had my hands on one in a while. But I remember I was in fourth or fifth grade and my gym teacher was a really special guy. He just had a really sweet heart and was really sweet with kids and I had to go into his office for something I don't know. Maybe like the kickball went in there and I went and got it something random like that and there was an Our Daily Bread on his desk. I was a believer at home and just kind of learning, navigating my faith and talking about Jesus, all that stuff, and I was like, oh you, you're a Christian too, that signature devotional like it's.

Speaker 2:

I think if we send like 60 million devotions throughout the world for free, yeah, it's just so cool it's. It's one that's lived. The organization itself is always evolving and I love that they've. Over the last five years I've really entered into a different medium. You know it's been print for so long and now they're it's. They did radio and they've done radio, but now it's podcast, which is really cool. Love the space.

Speaker 1:

Love, love, love. Podcasts. Well, um, okay. So, to be honest, I know just a little bit about this part of your story, but not much, and so I want you to expand on it for us. But I know something that you're passionate about encouraging people from, like, the place in your life. You're encouraging, am I saying that right? Yeah, encouraging from this place, yeah, yeah, right Is when you were coming out of a dark season in your life and what you learned through that. Now I don't know what the season is, I don't know all that it entails, and so I'm going to kind of turn the mic to you. I would love for you to expand on this to whatever extent you're comfortable. Yeah, talk to us about it.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. I, oh man, I like I can see so many memories in my mind. When somebody asked me about a dark season, actually just like all of them come into my, to my mind. So I walked through a divorce seven, eight years ago and I guess hold on, let me do the math of that it's been a long time, almost a decade, and that was the darkest season of my life. I, going through a divorce really is a death. It's just person lives continues to live and you're walking with mistakes you've made. You're walking with the betrayal of family or community or church you make. You are on the other side of somebody else making really terrible mistakes that leave you broken. I mean it's it was just the darkest season.

Speaker 2:

I chose a lot of things after the divorce. I chose a lot of things outside of myself that I didn't realize. I can now put words to it that I was responding to trauma, but at the time it just and I was making choices that weren't my character to feel better and it just made things worse and it made things darker. And so I I came out on the other side of it, but with a fight, a major fight. I I really wrestled with believing if God really loved me. Um, I was angry at him.

Speaker 2:

I grew up in a Christian household, and my parents, though, were like they're from, they're from the North, so they're from Ohio and Indiana, and so I didn't. I'm not like the typical Southern bell. Uh, we didn't grow up necessarily like going to church every day and like doing all of these like Christian things, like it wasn't like that until probably my teens, when my dad started having a huge heart for God and going after him on another level that I'd never witnessed before, previous to my teen years, and so, growing up in a Christian household, I did all the right Christian girl things, and then I go through a divorce, and it seemed sudden I use air quotes, but it wasn't sudden, it was. There were so many things that it that accumulated to the, to the bubbling up this divorce, and so, when the divorce happened, I felt like God didn't protect me, he didn't keep his promise. I did all of these performance, performative things, things and he was nowhere to be found or there was no reward for it. That was, in my headspace, what I was thinking. So I was so angry at him, but getting on the other side of that dark season of the divorce.

Speaker 2:

Before that, I defied him. I just wanted to go live my best life and then when I tried doing that, I realized, wow, this isn't fun either. Like doing the performative Christian thing wasn't fun, but also like living by the world's standards is not fun and I feel empty. So there has to be another way, like there has to be something else. And so I just remember going to God and asking him like, hey, like, if you're real, if you are who you say you are, I need you to step up. I literally prayed that prayer, which sounds so bossy.

Speaker 1:

I get it.

Speaker 2:

But I was there and I just remember him coming to me with a question which God knows me so well to know that I'm very curious and asking lots of questions all the time. And he came to me with a question of like are you exhausted? And it was like it was a question, but it was also like I know you are and it was just like for somebody that's listening that doesn't believe in God or is kind of like that sounds so weird. I know it does. It does sound weird, because it is weird. It's like I did not know what, like it wasn't like an audible, loud noise of God. It was just depressing and I knew it wasn't me, like that's all I can say. It was like I knew it wasn't me and I just I just heard this voice ask me like are you exhausted? And I said I'm so drained, I'm so exhausted.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it brings me to tears because I remember the next day coming out of that season of darkness and surrendering, I was met with a verse in Matthew 11, 28. And it's are you tired, are you burned out on religion? Come away with me, get away with me and you'll recover your life. I won't lay anything heavy. I came to that verse and I was like I want all that. I don't want performative Christianity, I don't want what the world tells me it can give me, because that's exhausting, but I want that. I'm burned out on religion. I'm this. This, like everything that scripture said, that's what I want, yeah, so that's kind of how I got through the dark season of just so much anger.

Speaker 1:

I just had so much anger in my heart, goodness, gracious. Well, from your story stemmed a journey, platform, reflection, all of the above on processing self-worth. Now I think, as I was thinking about this, I was like man, there's a lot of phrases that are getting thrown around in culture right now. There's the whole self-love, self-care, right. Those things are kind of everywhere. But I have a feeling that your heart for this is different, and so talk to us about what you learned about self-worth. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

I have learned in the last 15 years of so Worth Loving, because it is all about self-worth. I have learned that we make decisions in the way that we love people, the way that we show up to community, the way that we forgive or don't forgive. A lot of it comes from, and majority of it comes from, how we view ourselves and how, if we are OK with ourselves and if we are OK with our story, a life not believing they're worthy of love. That's why they say yes to relationships that don't value them. That's why they say yes. That's why I said yes to relationships that don't value me.

Speaker 2:

It's why I've put up with certain things that are unhealthy or not good, or I haven't had boundaries in certain areas of my life because I don't believe I'm worthy of love or worthy of saying no or worthy of standing up for myself.

Speaker 2:

I give too much it's okays out, I say. Often we say it's okay, it's okay until where our life is one big it's not okay. And so, with self-worth, I just see it as like, what are you saying? It's okay to a lot that's really going to lead to a it's not okay anymore, and my journey has been making choices out of that dating guys that I should have said no to, or making decisions of sleeping with guys I should have said no to, or like certain acts that I've done in my life that I should have said no to, and I don't want to should myself too much, but I know that I'm done in my life that I should have said no to and I don't want to should myself too much. But I know that I'm worth more and living my life through the lens that I'm worthy of love. My, my decisions are different, uh, and my relationships are different based off of that.

Speaker 1:

Man there's a lot to reflect on. Right Important conversation. Yeah, and I think it takes someone going through that process to lead that conversation. Like you can't know that at a heart level about like going through it. You know it's not a textbook thing, it's a life.

Speaker 2:

It's a life thing. Yeah, people say I should like. When I was new out of my divorce, people were like, oh, just go live your best life, like you deserve to be happy. But that looked like drinking a lot and and like doing things that I didn't, that don't honor me. That actually made me feel worse about myself. So that can't be true, you know.

Speaker 1:

And I think sometimes it takes someone else putting words to it to know that it's a process we have to go through too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah so some people might be listening for the first time now and they're like, oh yeah, maybe I need to reevaluate those or ask myself the same questions, right? Yes, be curious about yourself, for sure, goodness. Well, we could sit on this a little bit longer. If you want, you tell me, but I do at some point want to hear more about your entrepreneur. Okay, this word, I know this word Entrepreneurial. Where's the R? Where are the R's in this word? Entrepreneurial? How do you say it?

Speaker 2:

Entrepreneurial.

Speaker 1:

I just said it a little. I know you just got to like confidently, just like land it.

Speaker 2:

Entrepreneurial Just do your lips that way and it will like help. I hope you make this a real Entrepreneurial.

Speaker 1:

I know I've come to learn that I'm just bad with words and this podcast is a show of Katie learning how to speak the English language.

Speaker 2:

Listen, I've heard people say entrepreneur. I've heard entrepreneur? I've heard entrepreneur. You know, you just do what you want. Girl Katie, you make it up.

Speaker 1:

You know, I saw this really fun meme. It was like if you tell someone how do you say this in English, it makes you look better because it's like you're just like bilingual, so you don't know the English language instead of just like.

Speaker 2:

That's this moment, right here.

Speaker 1:

How do you say that in English? Yeah, oh my gosh. Ok, your journey to business.

Speaker 2:

That's what we're going to land on. I like that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, your journey to business. That's what we're going to land. I like that. Yeah, um, I okay. So I am very far from where I hope to be with what I'm building. You know, I have not like landed where I hope to and I'm not my final destination. There's a lot of room to grow, um, but there's a lot I've learned to this point and I love, I'm very passionate about hearing people identify dreams in their own life that they want to launch, and I'm very sensitive to people expressing fears or insecurities surrounding launching those things, because I've had to battle with all of it. I've gone through all of it. I love encouraging people in that space, all of it, the whole thing, the whole bag. I love that space. I love encouraging people in that space, all of it, the whole thing, the whole bag. I love that space, and so I would love to hear from you what areas of am I going?

Speaker 2:

to say the word again Entrepreneurship. Yeah, you did it, that was good. Entrepreneurship is easier, I think, than entrepreneurial.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, me too. We'll see how many forms of it I could say in this conversation. What areas are you, I guess, like, most passionate about? What have you learned? I mean, like, take it, take it whatever direction you feel best reflects your heart.

Speaker 2:

You know, I I never thought that I would be owning a business. I never thought that I'd be a contractor in ways and two. Like I feel the same thing that you just said, like I'm far from where I want to be in my career and it's so easy for me to find myself in the comparison trap. Where I look around, I'm like man, a lot of these things that I want to do. There's a lot of people already doing them in this space, so then I talk myself out of it and then I prolong actually pursuing anything within it and then, while I'm doing that, I'm like depressed and sad. So it's like this roller coaster, like depressed and sad, so it's like this, like rollercoaster feeling.

Speaker 2:

The biggest thing that I've learned in this journey is consistency and contentment, and I'm really bad at both of those, which is ironic that I'm in an industry where it requires both of those, where it requires both of those. I, I, you know, if it hasn't been for consistency, I don't think that certain doors would have opened. Yeah, but in the process of waiting for those doors to open, I fought with myself of doubt and fear and anxiety and maybe I should just quit, like I've quit so many times and then I've hired myself back again, which I feel like is very common for people that work for themselves or even work within an organization with a mission focus. And for me, like, I just want to be in spaces that remind people of their worth and I want to have conversations about it and I want to figure out how to do that consistently often and be content with how it grows. And you know, with my adventure with God Hears Her and being able to be a co-host, that really has opened my eyes, because I'm interviewing people of all walks of life, all different paths of career, and they all struggle with the same thing, which is all of us believing are we good enough, are we worthy to do this? And so I think my heart, the thing that I'm passionate about, the thing I want to continue to evolve in my work, is just continuing to have the conversation and showing that, like, we're all human and we we all, like, are on just different, different speeds of life and we're all gonna like, we're all gonna fall and we're all gonna get back up and we're all gonna keep going, and then we're gonna fall and we just we're all gonna do it at different times and so we can't compare ourselves to somebody's speeding.

Speaker 2:

Well, contentment it's like. To be content is really like being okay with where you're at and not comparing yourself. You know it's like I struggle with that because I'm like man like, but I, you know, I'm also a person of inspiration, like I get inspired by the things that I see and taste and smell and experience. And so if I can stop my mind from wandering from being inspired to starting to compare and just be content with where I'm at and what I'm doing, I actually will enjoy what I do, because you can't enjoy what you do if you're constantly comparing.

Speaker 1:

No, what was that? Obviously, I speak in memes a lot. Do you reference memes a lot? I do.

Speaker 2:

I love memes. My husband gets so many of them on Instagram.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know, say we're at that stage and Colby's like another one. I'm like, yes, watch it, it's important, darn it. Now. I just lost my train of thought. Oh, it was like oh no, it was a meme, it was a meme, contentment it was a meme and it was like really inspirational. It was funny, but inspirational, oh dang, it'll come to me. Maybe I'll attach it in the show notes if I think of it when I'm editing. Okay, yeah, no, there are. I mean, man, I could talk a whole weekend, I can make a whole conference out of this question and just hear people's answers and share some of my experience, share some of my experience.

Speaker 1:

But I remember for a while social media is a beast. We know that. It's not new to anyone. Algorithm content likes the whole thing, right. It affects mental health, it can stifle creativity, the whole thing, right. So I did the whole trial and error game have been for a long time.

Speaker 1:

And when I say discouraged, I mean like real discouraged. Like seeing some, seeing some industry friends with like thousands of likes and I'm like 24, you know I had to post and I remember I got a DM one day that I could just tell wasn't spam. You know what I mean. Like sometimes they just drip that and you're like, okay, I'm going to just block this person. But I was like, wow, this isn't.

Speaker 1:

And this person saw a post that I posted, I want to say, three years ago. I mean, they dug, they dug and I landed a high paying contract opportunity from that post. That got like 20, something likes. That I probably at one point wanted to delete. And I just was like you know what God, like you are so good, because obedience doesn't always and I've really wrestled with this Obedience does not always mean a million dollars in the bank account Obedience. Obedience does not always mean like landing the today show segment, whatever we think it, you know. Like it doesn't mean like instant, overnight success. Sometimes it means it always means one yes after another, one right step, and if it means crying the tears in between, you know like, if it means wrestling with God and asking him those super hard questions, like that is, that is part of the process, but it's, it's one step after another and he, he does use it.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's so good yeah, obedience, that's what it is. It's so true.

Speaker 1:

And yeah, man, entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship.

Speaker 2:

But you know what? Here's the thing you said yes to being obedient and still showing up and creating, and it opened up a door and an opportunity. And I think that's what people don't't. They don't see the next thing, that's behind the scenes. They only see what they see online and we have to be careful with taking that with a grain of salt.

Speaker 2:

Like what we see is not everything, and just like we witnessed like beautiful photos of families and then we find out that something devastating happened within the marriage and they're on a brink of divorce and we're like we never saw it coming, because we can't just assume what we see is everything. And I just I think that that you, you showing up and being obedient is inspirational to me, because I get hung up on that too. I'm like you know, I see my friends that are like like killing it with, like followers and growth, and like I feel shadow ban, I haven't grown in like forever, and like I'm like I don't understand, like why, and and and. Then it's like you get that DM and it leads to what you're purposed for.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then I have a friend. I don't know if she listens it's a public story but I could share it.

Speaker 1:

She felt like she was supposed to just be off of Instagram for a while. And she was a creator, like a highly sought after creator, and she was like what the heck is this going to mean If I stop creating? Like brands are going to see, I'm not consistent, whatever. And she was like, nope, I need to do this. And she did. And during that time of not creating I don't remember how long the timeframe was she got an offer to write for Magnolia magazine, um, and they slid in.

Speaker 1:

So, my, every time I've toyed with this idea, I'm like well, how are they going to contact me? I'm like email Katie, there's a button right there Like you'll be fine, um, but that's what they did. They, uh, I think, um, if anyone's interested in the specifics, I can get the full story. But I think she put some kind of notice, like I'm, you know, taking a break, and they emailed her, and so it was like man, it is not all dependent on you, just like like the grind message, like is so hard for me, cause I'm like no, no, no, like yeah, I don't know, yeah, talk about worth right, you're worth more than that.

Speaker 2:

And like it's an ebb and flow and rest is part of the process too, and in the work that you find yourself in and I find myself in and anybody listening that's in some sort of public space, through social media or through podcasting or writing. Oftentimes it is to tell a story right. We're always telling stories and at some point we have to be so careful that we're not objectifying our story and objectifying ourselves. To your point of saying like on the grind and like hustle, hustle, hustle. I think that it's honored.

Speaker 2:

I think you honor yourself when you don't objectify yourself and it's more sustainable and if you really want to create something long, lasting, objectification isn't going to be the one that gets you there. You know it will make it you there fast. We just have to have boundaries around ourselves. I mean, yeah, there is a day for hustle and then there's a day of rest and have every day of hustle. I just don't. At least I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want that. I've done that before. It led me to major, major destruction because I created unhealthy habits along the way.

Speaker 1:

Just like you were saying earlier, when you felt like God spoke something to you. If anyone's not familiar, I guess just like with walking with the Lord in this way or like faith in this capacity. Wow, I was muttering those words and my thought just went like shoot like out my I'm like, I am halfway through.

Speaker 2:

I'm ADHD, so I can roll with it. Whatever you need, yeah, what else? What do you want me to come back in?

Speaker 1:

No, I will. You know I'm. I'm not even going to edit that out, I'm going to keep that in because that is so real life that is called. I was wide awake with Wesley from one to four and I was like I have to talk to people like a professional.

Speaker 2:

Listen, I talked to my husband earlier today and I was telling him about an interview. I did this after or this morning and I was like, like I couldn't form words. I was like uh words. This is all I said was.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. It's real. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not even editing that out. That's good, don't? Yeah, that's that's where I'm at. Um, no, I was telling Colby the other day. I don't think this is what I was gonna say, but I like I really am wrestling between kind of like the tension of I think there's something on my roof. Do you hear noise? No, talk about ADHD. It was nice knowing everyone. No, I'm kidding. I wrestle with the tension of waiting on the Lord to open doors and going after it, right, and I think that that's a real tension, but I do think if you're sensitive to it, he'll let you know, I think'll.

Speaker 1:

I think you just follow the piece, like you follow where, where pieces, and it looks different in every season. And I remember when I first started teaching my charcuterie workshops right before COVID, and I was like man, I don't know how to get, I'm new to this business, I don't know how to get these workshops into vineyards, and I felt like the Lord said, like don't pitch anybody for one week, and I was like that's so, like again, yeah, yeah, right, yep, and and against what any business strategist would tell me to do. And after that week of waiting, um, I'm not kidding you. I had one full year. Um, I had I think I had like six places. Book me once a month for the rest of the year and it was just like booking like crazy. And he was like he was like see, wait, like you just have, you have to listen. You have to listen because I will direct next steps and I have misunderstood.

Speaker 2:

There have been times where I've gone out of step, but step, but, um, but the waiting is hard and it's uh, I think, sometimes, when I'm I don't know if I'm in the season of waiting or if it's my life, right, it's like, am I in a season of waiting or is this my life? And I'm just not being realistic with it? Wow, what's the difference between the two? You know, like that's what I'll wrestle with, and sometimes I'll go through seasons where I feel so affirmed in in what I feel called to do and then, and what I want to do, and then, and then there are times where I'm like I just I experienced that doubt again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's good, but, yeah, I think that that's the waiting. The waiting is hard, but I think it goes back to knowing you are absolutely worthy of it, Not in an arrogance, it's like you're worth showing up to the thing that really makes you come alive. You're worthy to do that and you're worthy to show up. And, and if it is a season of waiting, uh, and if you, if there are question marks around your career, it's just again, it's consistency, it's discipline, it's commitment. You know it's uh, it's hard, but yeah, yeah, I don't know where I was going else with that, but no, believe me, I'm with you.

Speaker 1:

I'm like I was like I feel like I had a really solid example to give and it's just gone. That and the meme. I'll just give you guys a cliffhanger and look in the show notes for when it finally hits me, you may close with it, I might, I might close with it. That'd be a great close. It's I think I mentioned this in another episode recently it's if, um, if you are surrounded by people that like aren't in business or aren't in anything creative or whatever the the middle could be so, um, hard for people to know, like, what to do with it. Right, cause it's like you could be making a lot more money if you did this or you could be way less stressed if you went this way. But, um, I think that's why it's so important to surround yourself with, like emotionally healthy people in that space, to kind of mirror back truth or encourage or affirm that thing. You're not crazy, you're not wrong, it's a normal part of the process, all that stuff.

Speaker 2:

Especially if you work from home or if you work by yourself. It's like I was telling a friend I was she's helping me with some things, like a project we're working on, and I said, listen, it is very hard for me to be my own hype girl. Yeah. To create, edit design, like all of these things. Like I am not that I am not my hype girl. In fact, I tear myself apart more than I hype myself up yeah. So to surround yourself with people that can help you I mean, that's the thing. It's like consistency, discipline, everything that we're talking about, and it is very hard, and the only way that I think that you can really do it is if you surround yourself with community of people that, like you said, mirror back what? Yeah, mirror back who you are and what you're capable of and what you're, like I said, worthy of what you are, worthy to step into.

Speaker 1:

That's good, and I have to remind myself of that story in my own life of like you know, just a step of obedience from years ago that I'm seeing like the fruit of today. And I guess I'll end this point because there's other things I want to talk to you about too, but with this story. So my friend Aaliyah my listeners, a lot of my listeners, know her. She's my brand strategist, my graphic designer, website designer. My website was down and for the silliest reason, I got scammed a few months ago bank account. It was a horrible situation drained money like a whole nasty thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was signing up for a new health insurance plan and they got me so good, so good. I guess for any other like creatives, entrepreneurs, who are like shopping for your own health insurance, be so careful. Because this ad came up for like Anthem Blue Cross from like the real Anthem Blue Cross, and I was like, oh, that actually looks like a great plan that like we, whatever fits what we're looking for. I did like a Google search of like whatever, just like Anthem whatever, and this scam company jerks paid for, paid for an ad to be like the first one, like when you search anything like that, but it wasn't like actually them.

Speaker 1:

And we laugh about it now, because I fall for stuff like that all the time. But they, they were on the phone with me for like an hour and a half. They smooth talked me, they like answered all my questions, and then they were like, okay, now let me have your credit card. And my husband's like why the heck did you get the credit? I was like because they were giving me the best insurance of my life. But anyways, oh my gosh, that's awful, katie, they got me so good. And anyways, we had to change our cards. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

I forgot to change it on our website host Forgot to pay, forgot to pay. Oh, no, I forgot to pay, forgot to change it. No, you forgot to change the card. Yeah, shut my email or shut my website down, right? And so I'm like this is so stupid. I'm like if you want 20 bucks, I'll give you 20 bucks, like yeah, but of course it's this whole thing now. And so I'm texting my web designer earlier. I'm like you know what, aaliyah? I'm like just keep it down, just shut it, shut it all down. Let's just go work at an ice cream shop together. At least we'll be working together. We'll get ice cream every day. So there for anyone listening, and if you followed to some of the opportunities that I've been, like teasing or sharing, like it can be both and it can you know there are times where you do have to stop. You do have to stop and force yourself into a heart space of contentment. You do because it's yeah, it's both and that's terrible. I'm sorry, I'm still on that, that's terrible.

Speaker 2:

I'm sorry, I'm still on that. That's so awful that that happened. But then I totally get the carrot that is dangled in front of you where it's like well, everything is shut down, so maybe you should quit. It's hard, it's like maybe I should, and what we'll do is we'll go, maybe I just need to go and there's nothing wrong with having a corporate job, will go, maybe I just need to go and there's nothing wrong with having a corporate job. I have a lot of friends that have corporate jobs and I the the way that they're able to provide for their family and create some really cool opportunities and lead teams. I want to. I want to preface that is amazing and inspiring, so much so that I'm like why am I working so hard when I could go work for somebody else and make way more money? Like that temptation is so real, so honest, and I just, if you're, if you are wrestling with that, uh, I would say that.

Speaker 1:

You're right on track. I've been there before.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. Well, I love this conversation and I always love you. Know what's been a really sweet part of the process for me? I update my bio every year, um, just for like media stuff or the website, and I updated it this year and I'm like man, there is like so much we forget the progress sometimes, Right, and it's so. That's my word for the year Remember, um, when I was praying about a word for the year, I felt like the Lord said this is your year to remember. And yeah, and so remembering looks like that, like looking at all the growth that's happened that sometimes I'm blind to or refuse to see because I'm so forward focused. Or remember, remember beauty, I think, is something he's trying to really do in my heart. Even though seasons have been really tough there has been seasons of trauma and regret and all those things right, there was also beauty. Beauty does not dismiss the hard. It's just something that's also true. And so just remembering what was also there.

Speaker 2:

So anyways, lots of little nuggets.

Speaker 1:

Look at us and our little nuggets of life experience and wisdom. Well, tell us a little bit more about God. Hears Her. You guys are on the brink of an upcoming season. We want people to know about it.

Speaker 2:

Season 14, which somebody told me that the other day and I didn't realize we were on season 14, because we record and we enjoy recording and then up next thing. You know, I'm like, oh my gosh, there's 14 seasons. Uh, yeah, so we are coming into their 14th season. I think it's like 200 episodes we've done so far and since 20. We started recording in 2019, but I don't believe we launched until 2020.

Speaker 2:

Uh, and I'm so excited because we are having just really cool conversations whether it's we're having conversations with women that are in the messy messiness of life, whether they're authors or they're ambassadors, or they're women that or we've done Bible studies that have been really cool. We're doing Bible studies in recording, and so we're literally discovering things as we're recording're doing Bible studies in recording, and so we're literally discovering things as we're recording, which is really fun for me. Um, I really enjoy doing it because my two other hosts, uh, that I do the podcast with are just phenomenal women that know the Bible and God like like scripture like the back of their hands. So, and the way that they communicate about God and the Bible and authors, and the way that these two hosts do I just I love to learn from them because they're they're years older than me and I have so much to learn from them. So that's coming up.

Speaker 2:

I lead, I lead a study which was really fun for me to explore. It's actually on self-worth and labels and lies and how we live our life through lies, and I'm really excited about that episode that's coming out. But, yeah, god hears her. You know, we didn't know what it was gonna be in 2020, and so it's been really neat to see see it evolve and impact the lives of women in their daily life of going to the grocery store or like listening to as they go to the grocery store or listening to when they pick up their kids or when they go for a run. It's been really really neat.

Speaker 1:

What a sweet platform. I'll link that in the show notes for anyone that's wanting to head over there too. It's funny to talk about seasons on shows. So I find myself saying, like on this season, on this season, and people will ask me like, oh, what season can I find that episode? And I'm like I don't have seasons. Well, you said you did.

Speaker 2:

So for anyone listening that is confused by me and all of my words when I say season, I mean like when the season outside changes changes. That's what I'm referring to. I actually totally resonate with that, cody, because when I was on a podcast and they said, oh, you're on 14th season and I was like we are like because I think, like we record throughout the year, I mean we record 365 days, like not really, but but like it feels that way, Like I mean we are always recording and so we record like twice a week. So in my mind I don't, I don't see seasons Like we're always recording.

Speaker 1:

So that word. And then I say we, a lot like, like. I'll say like we're excited to host you, and people come on. They're like, oh, do you and your husband do it? And they always call me out. They're like, oh, you said we. I'm like. It's like I've heard other business owners do this. It's not an intentional misleading, whatever. Yes, I think I personify the business.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's normal. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, I do that normal. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, I do that. I say we all the time. Now we do have a we, but like when I first started, there was just me, and so it was like we meaning me and my business are a couple.

Speaker 1:

It is a dysfunctional one, but it's oh, I love it, I love it, I love it. So funny. 14 season 14.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's crazy. I I was looking at the notes for season 15, I was like man, wow, we've crossed over um a million downloads, which is crazy, oh huge, uh it's huge, yeah, just a very exciting milestone. Just to think, over a million people are listening to it. It's pretty cool.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a huge, huge, huge, huge accomplishment and definitely talk about like launch and strategy, like all that stuff. That's just, yeah, it's a huge accomplishment. A lot of work behind that.

Speaker 2:

That leads to that point. Well, I'm just. I just. You know we've got a team. A shout out to Mary Jo, jade and Ann Stevens. We're a girl team, that's. What I love is that it's for women, by women, and it really is so good.

Speaker 1:

Well, there are three questions we end each of our conversations with, and I'd love to hear your answers as well. First one is something you have eaten recently and loved. Oh, could be anything, just in general eaten yeah, a snack, I don't care. A good pack of gum, I don't care.

Speaker 2:

What have I eaten? Okay, so my husband's on this whole keto thing and we made chicken nuggets the other night that are just made out of chicken and cheese, and they were so good they tasted like regular chicken nuggets. Oh, that was really good. Oh, and an egg has an egg, egg, cheese, chicken. Put it all together, make little balls, put it in the oven and they are actually like chicken nuggets.

Speaker 1:

That sounds great. Yeah, I'm at that stage where Wesley's appetite is like increasing. You know he's like eating more and I always thought I was going to be that like everything from scratch, mom. I'm like, oh, I am not One day kid One day? How old is Wesley A year and a half yesterday? Oh yeah, no wonder I'd be that way too. Yeah, maybe a couple of years I know, Because that's who I was before him and now I'm just like you get it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I get it, I get it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how about a gathering you attended that made you feel a strong sense of belonging? And if you could pinpoint it, what it was that made you feel that way?

Speaker 2:

Ooh, you know I would say this is probably going to be a cheesy response, but I I love our church so much and it is a church that brings people in that are they don't care if you're messy, and so I feel like I belong every Sunday when I show up Such a gift that's a huge gift. I have a lot of you're messy, and so I feel like I belong every Sunday when I show up.

Speaker 1:

Such a gift, that's a huge gift. It is a gift.

Speaker 2:

I have a lot of church hurt too, and it's been so redemptive for me.

Speaker 1:

That's really powerful for people to hear, yeah, as you're talking about church. Last but not least, something you have discovered lately that you think everyone should know about a Netflix show show amazon purchase.

Speaker 2:

Oh let me think net. When you said a netflix show, I was like wait, um oh, uh. No, let me think about this. I love it.

Speaker 1:

I really want. I really want this to be good. Um, it's okay anything random I know I'm trying to think if I have any while you're waiting that's something that I discovered.

Speaker 2:

oh, you know what? You know we just bought. We didn't just buy this, but I think everybody should own this if you like things that smell good a candle warmer you never melt down your candles. So I got this thing on Amazon. It's a little lamp, so cute, and you put a candle underneath it and it heats the candle and it makes your whole room smell good. It's not like there's like the melts that you can get for you, but it's not like that.

Speaker 1:

I've never owned one. Now that you say it, I know exactly what you're talking about, but I've never owned one now I am now like I love them, I absolutely love it.

Speaker 2:

But then now this whole thing about like how fragrance causes cancer and I've read too many studies and now I'm sad about it so I'm like I have to now get a healthy candle I think did basics just launch one or just ingredients um send it to me, just ingredients I love her, she, I've been trying to have her.

Speaker 1:

yep, just ingredients. Um, she has incredible content. If you're looking to kind of make the switch in every area of your life, it's very like user-friendly and not a trillion dollars. You know, she has a candle. Yep, yep, she is. I'm looking at them right now. That's so funny. Good old social media. I remembered her posting about it a while ago. Yep, right here, that's essential oils and coconut wax.

Speaker 2:

Ooh Okay, there we go. I still love my candle warmer then yeah, oh good.

Speaker 1:

I love that answer. I've been trying to give one of my own recently. Oh, I am, yeah, what'd you do? We're hooked on this show. Well, I did love Megan Markle's documentary, even though it's getting a lot of hate.

Speaker 2:

I watched one episode the other night because I was so curious as to why people are being so mean.

Speaker 1:

So I did find that there are quirks in every episode. Okay, definitely things where I'm like okay, I know what people are talking about, but I also think, just as a whole hospitality is intimidating to people and that's what I'm hoping to change, yeah, because I actually found her approach to be very approachable.

Speaker 2:

I watched her like mix eggs with like this mixer thing and I was like the way she did. It was like not professional and I loved it, like I was like that's what I would do.

Speaker 1:

Like yes, I know, yeah, your point. I know, yeah, I think I might do. I had my computer out while I was watching it and my husband's like Kate, you said you're not going to work when you watch TV. I'm like no, I'm taking notes. So I think I might do a reaction episode, because I think I think there's a deep reason why people are having such a negative response.

Speaker 2:

I think it's important for us to what do you think you can edit it out? I'm so curious.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, people want to justify their busy lifestyle and I think the enemy is really trying to keep us from the table and from enjoying celebration and from getting back to extended time in that space and open hearts and vulnerability and authenticity and just celebration of home. I think celebration of home is a threat to people. I think the whole like trad wife, if you've heard like traditional wife it's this term on TikTok where, like any wife that like makes her kids nice lunches or like um puts flowers in our living room, you're called like a trad wife and it's like where is the celebration?

Speaker 2:

You know, um, celebration of home is not perfection, it's, I think you're right, though I think we live in such a day where, like, we just villainize, we villainize people for how they want to do their life. I know, you know, like she's enjoying making salt things.

Speaker 1:

I know.

Speaker 2:

Those salt things. I want to make the salt things.

Speaker 1:

And then I want to ask people too, like have you ever gone to someone's house where you've been a recipient of that and you felt so like a sense of belonging in someone's home, like, like they, they made room for you, like they, they I don't know if there's a sense of dignity, that I don't know.

Speaker 2:

You really should respond. I honestly it could, it could.

Speaker 1:

I have been super um inspired by independent journalists recently.

Speaker 2:

Love all the things right now, Like the long form, what you said, individual journalism. I'm so inspired by Me too.

Speaker 1:

That's why I'm like I feel like I could do this pretty gracefully, like truthfully, but gracefully yeah.

Speaker 2:

What was the?

Speaker 1:

third, let's see. You said you've discovered recently. Oh, we talked about the candle. I'll just ask you where to send people. So if anyone's wanting to follow along more and actually get a copy of your book, you could talk about that if you wanted to, or just send people to buy it, whatever. Where do they get your book? Where do they follow?

Speaker 2:

you All of that. Yes, so you can find God Hears Her at God Hears Her on Instagram, godhearsherorg, to find our podcast and all the resources you can find me at so worth loving. I'll be on both camps and in both camps. So worth lovingcom. You can follow us at so worth loving and you can also follow me personally, aaron Eddie E R Y N E D D Y on Instagram I love that name.

Speaker 1:

It's super cute.

Speaker 2:

Thanks, no, Eddie is my maiden name and I love. I loved it when I got it back after I went through my divorce because the meaning of it is a stream that goes against the current, the main current. I just thought that that's such a powerful visual and when I learned that about my last name, I was like I have to keep it. So when I got married again, I asked my husband. I said, babe, I'm going to have to keep it. Do you want it? Do you want my birthday?

Speaker 1:

Man, that's good. So much power in story telling stories. So thank you so much for sharing yours. We will tag all the things. I feel like we referenced a lot of different things, but I will tag as much as I could remember in the show notes. You guys can click and make your way there. Be sure to tag us Screenshot if you listen to any of Erin's episodes, and we will see you next week.