Making Room by Gather
Hospitality. What do you think of when you hear that word?
For some it's old school 'stuffy' entertaining for others it's something to do with the hotel industry. One thing is for sure, as a culture we're not talking about it much.
Food * Design * Relationships have seemed to have taken a back seat to what our culture focuses on and values yet...we find ourselves in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Something has to change, it's time to get back to our tables, and we're making room for it!
Making Room by Gather invites you into a new conversation on everyday hospitality. One that rewrites the way we approach opening your doors and filling your tables. Shifting the narrative from 'how does this make me look' to 'how does this make you feel' these buildable conversations aspire to inspire connection through everyday gathering.
Kayty's chic and a little quirky interview style will make you feel like you're sitting with a friend talking about how to grow in confidence as an everyday host. You can expect conversations from navigating challenging relationship dynamics to foundational cooking techniques and everything in between.
Whether you are a seasoned host or looking to develop new friendships and grow in your skills for the first time, there is a seat at the table. Join us weekly for new conversations with expert guests and with Kayty in her beloved Date with Kayt episodes. Continue the conversation @gatheritentionalliving
Making Room by Gather
Time Management for Your Perfectly Imperfect Life w/ Kali Brigham
Have you ever wished for more hours in the day while watching your to-do list grow endlessly? You're not alone, and the solution might surprise you.
The real issue isn't a lack of time—it's how we're managing the hours we already have. This revelation forms the foundation of my illuminating conversation with Kali Brigham, a time management expert whose journey began in the high-pressure environment of TV news production, where every second counted and deadlines weren't negotiable.
Kali introduces us to the concept of priority management rather than time management. Through practical strategies like conducting a time audit, we discover how most of us consistently underestimate, overestimate, or fail to estimate how long tasks actually take. This simple awareness can transform how we approach our schedules.
What struck me most was Kali's refreshing perspective that effective time management isn't about restriction—it's about freedom. "Time blocking is like an offensive line protecting the quarterback," she explains. "It's protecting your priorities, it's protecting your values." Rather than filling every minute with productivity, true time mastery means creating intentional space for what matters most. Each strategy is designed not to make you busier, but to help your schedule better reflect your values.
Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by commitments or struggling to make time for relationships and hospitality, this conversation offers hope that small changes can lead to significant shifts in how you experience time. Ready to transform your relationship with your schedule? Listen now, and discover how to make room for what truly matters.
Learn more about Kali on her website here
This episode was sponsored by our friends at:
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Hey everyone, welcome back to Making Room. I am so glad that you're here. I'm a little bit sniffly today, to be honest. I was just telling our new or not our new friend, our guest today that we have just been like man, like so many of us, just like sick a lot this year. But we are here and I'm so excited about this conversation.
Speaker 1:I know that I'm not alone in thinking thoughts like wishing there were more hours in the day, wondering how my to-do list just never seems to come to an end, trying to figure out how to just be intentional with my time. I know I'm not alone in that, and so this conversation I brought in the expert to chat about it because I'm in need of a little extra support. I know that you might be too and we're going to get down to the specifics to make some change, make some immediate changes that I know will benefit so many of us. Actually, one of my heartbeats behind this conversation is really trying, really hoping that all of us can create time in our schedules for relationships and intentionality. I hear so much I don't have time for friendships, I don't have time for hospitality, I don't have time to cook and all of those things I think are very valid with our current time structure and time management, but it doesn't have to be that way. So today we're going to talk about challenging that a little bit, shifting things up and creating a new strategy.
Speaker 1:If you do not know our friend Callie I was on her show, so I think my mind's getting a little bit confused. You might have heard me when I shared my episode on her show, but here is a little bit more about her. If you are hearing about her for the first time, callie is married to her college sweetheart, josh. So Callie is married to her college sweetheart Josh. They have a 16-year-old Brayden, who loves all things sports, and a 14-year-old Madeline and their mini Australian labradoodle Pippa. Oh, I love career. After starting with Mary Kay Cosmetics, cosmetics, mom brain. Today you guys are tracking I know you are. She drives the iconic pink Cadillac in her amazing sales. You know what? Wow, callie. I'm starting this over. I'm botching too many words. Callie is married to her college sweetheart, josh. They have a 16-year-old Brayden and 14-year-old Madeline and their mini Australian labradoodle Pippa, who is the center of their universe. That's one of the names that I would name my daughter, but I know Colby would never go for it. Future daughter.
Speaker 1:Before Mary Kay, callie was a TV news producer for NBC News Memphis. She retired from her career after starting with Mary Kay Cosmetics. She drives the iconic pink Cadillac and her amazing sales team ranked number one in North America. Incredible Fun fact, she's also a professional violinist. In addition to playing with symphonies, she's been hired to play with well-known recording artists out on tour. She moved back to Pensacola after Brayden was born and loves being involved in their community Symphonies. She's been hired to play with well-known recording artists out on tour.
Speaker 1:She moved back to Pensacola after Brayden was born and loves being involved in their community, including her church and Favor House, a local domestic violence shelter. She also started a national support group for women struggling with infertility and miscarriage after going through that season herself. The group now has over 500 women and they have seen well over 100 babies born or adopted. When she's not working from home, she loves to work out in her neighbor's garage, travel, read, run on the beach, watch TED Talks, listen to podcasts, including hers, me, yours, hers, her own You'll have to clarify for me Help women reach their dreams and, most importantly, hang out with her four most important people and Pippa, of course, because she had so much free time. I identify with this part so much. One year ago she started her own company where she helps ambitious women with their time management so they could be at the top of their game without burnout or guilt.
Speaker 1:Well, guys, I am very eager to dive into this a little bit more, but if you are like Colby and I, we are not huge on New Year's resolutions or goals, but we realize that the postpartum season hit us kind of hard and we just got a little bit sloppy with our habits and no judgment here, I just know that you guys, you get that and we live a generally healthy lifestyle. Just, we realized that a lot more things that we didn't eat made our way, used to not eat, made our way into our diets more regularly. Anyways, we were just not feeling ourselves, not feeling great and we wanted to have a lot of energy for the opportunities coming up ahead this year and wanting to just make some intentional shifts. So hydration has always been one of those things. I had a customer actually I think she listens to the show and I was going through sharing some things on social media and she was like Katie, you have to regularly be including electrolytes. You do that already. And I was like, yeah, once in a while when I do like a really hard workout, and she was like, no, no, no, this has to be a daily habit. It'll change your life, trust me.
Speaker 1:And so we went through this cycle of trying to find one that we loved. Because we're learning things in culture right now about dyes and artificial sweeteners and refined sugars and all of those things, right, like I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor, but you know, we're hearing those things, and so the quality of the electrolyte was really important to me. And that's when we found out about N2 water. And this is actually a business that we are connected to through a friend. We know the owners. They are real people, real small business, but with an incredible product.
Speaker 1:So N2 sent us some electrolytes to try and Colby was like, oh my gosh, this thing pours really well. Now that might sound really silly, like why is Colby talking about the pourability of this thing? If you've ever gotten one of these packets, sometimes they're really like grainy and gross and like all stuck together. That was not the case. They poured really well. They taste incredible. There's nothing artificial. Now some of these brands have a very high salt. Like they. They're very salty when you have them. I would call this one. Somewhere in the middle. I actually found the salt to be very refreshing but very balanced, and so it wasn't an overpowering taste and we just felt so rejuvenated. There are only five simple ingredients ocean sourced minerals, calcium, magnesium, sodium all natural and an incredible assortment of flavors that you guys get access to and can try for yourselves. Head on over to their website, n-2watercom, and get your own for 20% off with the code EARLYSIPS E-A-R-L-Y-S-I-P-S at checkout.
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm Katie, a hospitality educator and the host of Making Room by Gather podcast. I am set to see our communities get back to the table through hospitality, but it wasn't always this way. My husband and I moved to Thailand and through it I experienced some loneliness and with it I was given a choice to sit back and accept it or to do something about it. And for me that meant two things that I needed the healing to learn how to accept an invitation and the confidence to know how to extend one. Through this process, I developed some of the richest and deepest relationships of my life. Through Making Room by Gather, you will hear conversations from myself and experts in the areas of food, design and relationships. You see there are countless things trying to keep us from the table, but can I tell you something?
Speaker 1:Take a seat, because you are ready, you are capable, you are a good host. Okay, hi, there you go. That's better. So glad you're here.
Speaker 3:Oh, Katie, I just feel so welcomed into your space and this conversation today. Thank you for the invitation.
Speaker 1:Of course. Of course, I feel like certain conversations I feel like are like a long time in the making right, and this is one that we both have been busy.
Speaker 3:I was going to say, if only people could see the email thread between us of trying to get this to happen, it's amazing, it would feel very normal. I think they would feel like, oh yeah, that feels like me trying to get together with my girlfriends or me. So yeah, we're not alone, are we?
Speaker 1:I'm proud of us. I'm proud of us. We did it. We're here. We did. Well, let's start off. My listeners know I like to start off with a little bit of a backstory, just so we get a little bit more connected with you. So this one is one that I feel like people might take a notebook out, jot down notes, start with some strategy and, I don't know, listen back for some inspiration. But I want to hear from you about your road to a career kind of like encouraging women in the area of time management, and so that's very niche, obviously very important and necessary. So what was the road that led?
Speaker 3:you there. Yeah, it is a road that leads you to a calling or a purpose or a mission, and nothing's wasted. I'm a big proponent of that. So if you are still on your journey or you're finding your way there, just know that whatever path that you're on, it does have a purpose. And so I think back to mine. I mean, I could go way back and things like my dad was always an hour early for things and my mom was always more like an hour late, and I'm an only child, so like I was going to go one way or the other, right, so I was going to lean, either to be early, lean to be late, lean to be the last people at church when everybody else was done talking, or you got it.
Speaker 3:But really, where I'm going to start my story is when I was a TV news producer, and I think that was the proving ground of my learning about the importance and the value of time management. So I produce the 5 o'clock news. It starts at 5 o'clock on the dot, it ends at 5, 28, and 30 seconds. Now, for most people, if you were a minute late to work or 30 seconds late to work, no big deal. But when you're a news producer, you cannot be late quote unquote to work. If the news starts at 5, you better have something on air at 5. And, by the same token, you have to be done at 5.30 because you can see on the big monitor the anchors in New York City getting their nose powdered, getting ready to do the national news that starts at 5.30. So you have to be done, and I say that sort of as a joke, but it's not. I had to learn how to be on time. But it wasn't just about how to start on time and how to end on time, it was the nuance of those 28 minutes and 30 seconds. I had to learn how to pivot. I had to learn how to prioritize. I had to learn how to communicate something of value in a short amount of time. I had to learn people skills and all this and I'm 23 years old, not really knowing what I'm doing.
Speaker 3:So my foray into the world of understanding time management started as a TV news producer who knew that that's what I was going to learn from it, among many other things. And then, katie, I ended up taking a lot of those real world hands-on skills, some that I did great naturally, some that I crashed and burned with, don't we all? And I took some of those into the next phases of my life. So I took some of those as then I started my entrepreneurial journey. I took some of those as I was a first-time mom. I took some of those, as now I'm working from home with a baby and a toddler.
Speaker 3:Yeah, took some of those and started to weave them into my life as my kids started to go to school.
Speaker 3:And the cool part is now, with a 14 and a 16-year-old, not only am I still every day living out what time management looks like priority management, energy management but the best part is I am watching them.
Speaker 3:My kids start to learn how to do that with their busy schedules and their friend groups and their skills and abilities and where they want to go in life. So, yeah, it started way back in TV news and now it has been such a journey and, just like anything else, I do want to give it to the world. Right, I do want to help every woman out there, but if I don't start my own house, then I might be missing something, and I know that's what you're all about. It's starting small, with your own home and your own dinner around the kitchen table with your family, then it extends to your dinner around the kitchen table with your family, then it extends to your friends, then it extends to your community, and that's really what I love about what I do it starts at home and then, on a day like today, I get to spread it.
Speaker 1:I love it. I didn't know that that extent of news production was a part of your background and that world is so fascinating to me, so fascinating.
Speaker 3:It's intense. So let me tell you I've heard that even though we're going to talk about how to manage your time well today, at the end of the day, nothing is mission critical. Okay, if you are 30 minutes late to something, if you're 30 seconds late to something, you're not going to lose your job like I was. It's not that big of a deal. So let's just relax a little bit, shake out our shoulders. There's no condemnation here today. No shame, none of that. If you feel like you're a busy person or not busy enough or whatever, it's all good. We're all just going to do our very little best. And what I like to say, katie, is we don't start strong, we start small. So if in any way I can help you start small today in some new thoughts, some new mind shifts when it comes to your time, then that's what I want to do. So good.
Speaker 1:Well, I thought that this is kind of like a different kind of a question, but a little bit of a fun one. What on social media and culture, are you hearing about time management that might be like misconceptions or might be false. That actually don't work. Does that make sense, Like? Is that that actually don't work? Does that make sense, Like?
Speaker 3:is that, yeah, take that one. It makes a lot of sense, and I think there's so much pressure. There's so much pressure, first of all, to be perfect, and the name of my podcast is Perfect-ish, because I think we all live in the ish part right, and social media is the highlight reel, or it's what works for somebody else. Time management is not a one-size-fits-all and hopefully some of the tips that I give you today One size fits all and hopefully some of the tips that I give you today you can start to apply to yourself personally. But the deal is, best practices of time management do not include you do not have to get up at 4 dark 30 in the morning. It's not about having the perfect planner and pretty pens right. It's not about wearing yourself out. It's not about having a busy badge and proving to the world how busy you are.
Speaker 3:Time management doesn't mean that you are so focused on what others need that you don't get to fill up your own cup, and so I think there's a lot of. Probably the biggest thing is just pressure, pressure to have to do it all. Pressure to have to do it all. Pressure to have to do it all right. Pressure to have to be the one that makes the homemade cupcakes that are gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, all of that, and that shows up to the school when maybe swinging by the grocery store would have been just fine. So those are some of the things that I know we see. Yes, we can always learn maybe a tip here or there, but when it comes down to it, I hope that I helped just shift a few priorities for you today that are real world, lived out. Like girlfriendy, let's chat over a cup of coffee kind of tips.
Speaker 1:Those are the tips that stick. Those are the ones that I think people are craving. It's really good. I think you kind of mentioned this, but there's that trend. I'm not on TikTok much, but I spend a lot of time on Instagram, Kind of like the ones that look like a homestead family, and it's like the mom is like, oh, my husband wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and they go get the wheat and mill the wheat. But my favorite is the people that not mock it, but they play on it and they do that. And then the end of the video is them microwaving chicken nuggets or whatever.
Speaker 3:And I'm like yeah, that's where the ish part comes in, right, yeah, they're like, yeah, sourcing their ice cubes from an ice block in Sweden, or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, okay, we're not about that Real talk, real worlds today. That's good. Well, so here's another place that I want to start. It seems like some women have a. I wrote this word in my notes, I don't even know that I know how to say it Propensity.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Wow, this season is a season of new words. For me, a propensity, that's a great word.
Speaker 3:It is, yeah, it's a leaning towards something.
Speaker 1:Propensity? What was the word I used a few weeks ago, and I looked at my guest.
Speaker 3:I was like was that right? A word I really like that also starts with a P. A lot of great words start with a P is precipice. I just think it's fun to say it has nothing to do with this, but precipice is a cool word Precipice.
Speaker 1:If you said that to me. Precipice is a cool word. Precipice, if you said that to me, I would understand. But how would you define precipice? It's an incentive for me, callie On the edge of something.
Speaker 3:You're on the precipice of new thinking. Today, you're on the precipice of a new way of managing your time. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a really good one.
Speaker 3:My mom always used the word growing up up asinine. Oh well, yeah, it's very strong.
Speaker 1:Are you going to use that?
Speaker 3:in a sentence. No, I would rather scratch that one out of my brain.
Speaker 1:We can fill it with precipice instead. Let's do it. That's a great one. Yeah, oh my gosh. But some women have a propensity towards being well-organized, so like kind of like a natural lean, while others maybe it doesn't feel as natural. Honestly, hospitality is similar. Some people feel like it's just a natural overflow. Some people have to learn more or work a little bit harder at it. So what do you say to those that find themselves like thinking this Is there truth in it? Go for it.
Speaker 3:Well for sure, and I think there's a difference, too, between being busy and being productive. So that's the first little point that I want to make that, in understanding your view of time, I want to separate out the difference between the two, because we can find ourselves doing busy work all day long. Maybe we do have a leaning towards that or we don't right, but at the end of the day, what I want to do is encourage you that when you are focused in and you're dialed in on something, that it's something that is productive, not busy just for busy's sake, right, and the only way, katie, that I know how to start that with somebody and, by the way, let me also say that I'm a big fan of being a scientist, not a judge. So what I'm getting ready to do is just like a little experiment. Let's just see where you do lean one way or the other. So what I like to start with with somebody is and they don't ever like to do this, so let me just also clear the air I say it and they're like no, not that, so it is. I'm just going to say it because I owe it to you to speak truth, but what I do is I have them do a time audit.
Speaker 3:Now, a time audit is similar to a food diary. Yuck, nobody likes doing them, including me. But here's the deal. If you want to lose 5 pounds, 10 pounds, and you're like, but I just don't know why, I'm not because I'm eating really healthy and I'm not. Well, when you actually do the food diet and you have to write it down, then you're like oh okay, maybe you're like me and you think that if you eat while standing it doesn't count. Right, then that doesn't count. Why would I? Why would that count? Or, if you like, eat the last couple of spoonfuls of the Annie's mac and cheese with the I mean no calories there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no calories, because I didn't put it in a bowl and it wasn't for me, right, okay. But the deal is maybe we're not losing those five or 10 pounds because we are eating a handful of chocolate chips while we're standing up over the sink, or we are eating more than maybe one or two spoonfuls of our kids' leftover mac and cheese, and we don't know that until we write it down. So what I have people do to begin this journey is preferably for a whole week, I know, but for a whole week. I have them write down every 30 minutes. What did you just do? But again, you're a scientist, not a judge. And here's what I found, katie.
Speaker 3:Number one thing I found no woman needs more time. Because I know I've said it like if I only don't, we say if I only had more time. But the deal is, if you had more time, you would fill it with more to-dos and more stuff. You wouldn't probably view it graciously and like get more sleep or spend more, you wouldn't. I just know you and me and everybody, we wouldn't. We wouldn't do one more task, we'd stay up a little bit later and clean the kitchen. We do those kinds of things right. We wear ourselves out. So when you do it, you're going to find out. First of all, you do not need more time. Second of all, what you're going to find out is that you have a tendency you me to overestimate, underestimate and not estimate what we're doing. Let me give you some examples. Okay, a lot of us have a tendency, when we look at our time audit, to underestimate the amount of time. So I'm going to give you an example.
Speaker 3:I have a client. She was always Katie 20 minutes late, always, no matter what. She's not a bad person, she's not a lazy person, she does not care about people. She just could not figure out. I have always 20 minutes late. She did her time audit and guess what she found out. She did her time audit and guess what she found out. She thought it took her 40 minutes to get ready in the morning. Every morning, about 40 minutes before she had to be somewhere, she'd start getting ready. Guess what she found out. How long do you think it took her? An hour, an hour. That was the missing 20 minutes. She's not a bad time manager. She's not, again, none of these labels that she would give herself. She's not bad at it, she's just an underestimator. Do you see what I mean?
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 3:But Katie, now she has a decision. Does she either figure out how to shorten her getting ready time See, she's a scientist, not a judge. Nobody says you have to take a certain amount of time to get ready. So does she say you know what, let me speed it up. I'm going to shower at night instead, or every other day I'm going to put my hair in a ponytail so I don't have to fix my hair. She's going to figure out. Or she could say you know what I like taking my time, I like listening to music or having my quiet time on my audio book, or what I like doing. I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to gift myself an hour. She just needs to plan that out. So do you see the difference?
Speaker 3:Neither one is right or wrong. It's whatever is best for you, but you don't know it because you've been underestimating. So a couple other quick ones, overestimating, excuse me. Couple other quick ones. Overestimating, excuse me.
Speaker 3:Underestimating is things like this I look at a messy kitchen and I think, oh, my word, that's going to take me five hours to clean. So I don't want to do that. I don't want to spend five hours. I don't have five hours. Therefore, I will clean tomorrow because it's going to take me too long. Well, the deal is there's a lie. And the lie is it's easier tomorrow, or shorter tomorrow, or better tomorrow. And the deal is it is never easier tomorrow, it's never shorter tomorrow, as a matter of fact, it's probably worse, because now I'm not only not doing it, but I'm thinking about it, so now I'm making it worse. The truth is, it's always easier in the moment. So, instead of five hours to clean the kitchen, how about I spend 15 minutes power cleaning the kitchen? And the miracle is I could probably get pretty much all of it done.
Speaker 3:So, again, we overestimate, we underestimate or we just don't estimate at all, and that's the kind I know that we're probably talking about. Like, I just have no idea, callie, where my time is going. I have no idea, katie, where my time is going, because I just don't think that thought and I get it. I really do. And there are certain seasons that it's easier to do that than others. But where I want to just kind of land this thought and land this plane, is we do the audit, we start to recognize patterns, right, I had another client who did this and she realized that after each task she had a tendency, a propensity, to scroll social media.
Speaker 3:Fine, it's fine, but what she didn't realize was it was 45 minutes each time that it would get her off track. Like 45 minutes a day, that's almost an hour a day per task that she was getting off. So after we do our time audit and we have reality, it's just a reality check is all it is, and we see patterns and we understand that this, katie, is the most important thing. When you look down bird's eye view at that week, ask yourself is this week reflect who I say I want to be?
Speaker 1:It's good.
Speaker 3:Does it reflect who I say? Or let's say that I was looking at your week. I would say you know what? Katie seems like she prioritizes this. This seems like this is a value to her. Would I be right? And the beauty of that is, if the answer is yes, like if I say oh, katie seems like hospitality is important to her. It seems like making time for friends is important. It seems like faith is important. It seems like rest is important. It seems like and you're like, yeah, girl, that's me Great.
Speaker 3:Maybe just a few tweaks here and there, but for most of us, we'd look and go gosh, this is so not who I say I wanted to be. Why did I spend all that time in the car doing these things for other people? Why did I stay up late watching Listen, I love a good Netflix show, don't get me wrong, but I say I value rest and sleep, but I'm killing myself at night by staying up till midnight, right. So that's the value and that's how we start to figure out for ourselves, not time management. To figure out for ourselves not time management, but priority management. I want my week, I want your week, to be a reflection of what matters most, and we do have the power to start to do that. So, katie, that's how it starts A time audit. We need a baseline, we need some pattern, we need to see what we're doing with our time, and once we do now, we can make it matter.
Speaker 1:It's really good. What's that quote? Is it Winston Churchill? Failure's not final. You know which one Success is not. Well, the part that I'm thinking about is failure's not final, and I think a lot of us can feel like we're failing in the area of time. Right, and when you ask the question, does your time reflect, like who you are, who you want to be, or you know your values? If it didn't last week, it can this week.
Speaker 3:Right, well, and isn't that the truth? You know, I think too, everybody's going to have a day that goes off the rails. Everybody's going to have a week where kids are homesick. All of that, everybody's going to have a week where kids are homesick. So we're not talking about the one-offs, we're talking about, holistically, what does my time look like? Right, because we're not judging ourselves on a day where, you know, hormones were out of whack and I just needed to not today, that's okay. What we want to do is create some boundaries. We want to create even some plan B. I'm a big fan of plan Bs, which is this would be my ideal week, but if this goes wrong and this, I'm not going to lose the whole rest of my week. Plan B looks like this. So I'll just give you one example of that yeah, go, yeah, I like to.
Speaker 3:By the way, I unplug my router Fridays at noon on my computer. It's a physical act of I am done working because I work from home. I could literally work 24 hours a day. I unplug my router. It symbolizes to me physically work is done, I put it away and on Monday mornings I plug it back in. But what I do is I leave myself Friday afternoon from noon till whenever, as white space, as slow-mo space, as overflow space, so that if something didn't happen on Tuesday morning that I needed to making a doctor's appointment or whatever I have like a slush fund, it can go into Friday, it flows into Friday.
Speaker 3:So, people, I know time blocking is a huge thing. I'm a huge fan of it. What I find is most people don't block most of their time because they don't realize that I block out time for white space, I block out time for porch sitting with my dog, so everything is blocked out. But it doesn't mean I'm busy. It means that I have plan Bs for things. So if things go over time or I can push it to another time and that doesn't mess up the whole week, even though the day might be a little bit upside down.
Speaker 1:You know why I think this is so important. It's just clicking with me. We're taught in life how to manage other things like nutrition, finances, savings and all those types of things that we're like okay, here are systems. Generally speaking, we're not taught how to manage time, and years can go by where you're like I wish I sat on the porch more. I wish you know I had someone tell me, like she blocks out time, like every month or every week, whatever it was that she had to get together with someone and I'm like it's such, it's such a it's not necessarily that it's easy, but it's a quick fix, right, like if it's a very attainable life shift, would you say.
Speaker 3:It is. And I think, first of all, you're so spot on. No one is teaching kids in school, elementary, middle, nobody. Nobody is teaching kids the value of their time management, right. And at the same point, I think that what they are taught we can feel resistant to. We don't want to be caged in right, we don't want to be told what to do, we don't want to have a boring life, we don't want to have every minute accounted for. So therefore we think, well, that doesn't feel good to me. I mean, a few people do like that. They're very, very structured. Most people either don't want to be structured or they don't have the luxury of that right, because they do have kids. Things do come up. So the deal is working on.
Speaker 3:Our time management is not restrictive. It actually is so freeing because you are aware of what's most important and you're also blocking. I think of time blocking as literally like an offensive line, protecting the quarterback. Yeah, that's what blocking does. Blocking says, no, you can't have this hour. On Sunday afternoon, I'm taking a nap, and it's blocking the quarterback. It's blocking the person calling the plays, it's blocking the person calling the shots. That's what time management and time blocking does. It protects you. It protects your priorities, it protects your values. So next time you sit down to do it, instead of feeling like, oh, this feels like a chore, this feels like restrictive. This is so freeing because now you are blocking out bath time with your son, that you are not going to do a work call during, you're not going to answer the phone for that and, at the end of the day, that is why we do what we do, that's why you do what you do. That's why you do what you do. That's why I teach what I teach, for those values and those moments.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there are other over-committers listening. I am a chronic over-committer and I think, because I can be high capacity, I am very achievement and goal-driven right. But I do unfortunately end up disappointing people at times or not being able to follow through with my commitments because I'm like if this was the only task, yes, I could do this by tomorrow, but if I have 15 tasks that could be done by tomorrow, no, they no longer can all be done by tomorrow. So I think that what time management does? It helps us to understand our mental state, our emotional state, like a lot of people with anxiety or I don't know, like things like that. Like looking at the time blocking, you're like whoa, actually that does make a lot of sense why I'm feeling.
Speaker 3:so I don't know anxious, right, about my days, anxious, overwhelmed, pressured, all of the things, and there's a counterbalance Every yes is a no, every no is a yes, and it's not just one or the other. And I even have a friend who, when she does graciously say no to somebody, she declines which, by the way, there's a lot of really nice ways to do that. First and foremost, I do teach that if somebody asks you to do something and you're not 100% sure if you have the capacity or the time or you want to, you just ask them. If you can have 24 hours to check your schedule and do that, it just buys you a little bit of breathing room, right? If you decide later that it's not your best, yes, katie, you can even just say something like you know what?
Speaker 3:I was able to look at my schedule and I'm just not able to do it at this time. Thank you so much for asking me. And that's all you say, right? Well, my friend, she has a separate little calendar this is so great and she writes down everything she said no to on the calendar so that when that time comes up, she looks at it and she goes. I'm so glad I don't have to go do that. Like literally she's like, yes, I don't have to go volunteer at the whatever. It's literally her, her way of like celebrating that she said no, which I think is awesome and it's brilliant. That is awesome.
Speaker 3:That's so good how many times do we do the opposite? We look at our schedule like, oh no, I have to go do whatever. She looks at it and she goes yes, I don't have to do that.
Speaker 1:That's really good. That's really good. It's important to set up things like that, as we're especially learning how to enforce different boundaries, because then you could. It's just a good reinforcer.
Speaker 3:It's a great reinforcer. Yeah, so just to remember yes, a yes is a no, a no is a yes, both at the same time, and that we can very consciously say, oh, I'm not able to do it at this time. Maybe ask again, or? Thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm already scheduled. I'm already booked Because you are, because you've blocked everything, and so you might be booked to watch a movie with your husband, but you're booked, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is so important. What is that? Another one of? Just like those social media quotes, but it's like your time, your money, like your schedule and your bank account are the most telling things about you, right, and so go ahead. No, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I used to say it like when you looked at your week at a glance or your month at a glance. What does it say about you, right? Yeah? We used to say look at your checkbook, I could know you and your priorities. People just don't use checkbooks anymore, but because where are you spending your money? I could tell you who that kind of person is. No, it's exactly the same. I used to say that, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so when you're talking about like watching a movie with your husband for an hour or going you know I love going to vineyards with friends, like it's kind of our thing here I feel like some people might cringe hearing that you block off that time or that you would say no, because that's scheduled. But it's really important for us to step back and look at that. It really is, because time it's not selfish, it's I don't know, it's solving a lot of the pain points in our life that we have. That do you know what I'm trying to say?
Speaker 1:We have to reframe the way that we look at time management, it's not selfish, it's not rigid, it's grabbing a hold of the things that we value.
Speaker 3:It is. It's such a valuable asset that so many times just goes unnoticed because we just we don't plan out for it, we don't live for it, we don't and and I think that's what I want to emphasize the most that we're I'm not suggesting that you do this so that you're the most efficient person. Even although I love efficiency. You're not doing this so that you can check things off a list. You're not doing this again. So you're so structured and your alarm goes off at you know those like wake up with me, get ready with me. You know, like okay, that you're making your shake at three, 30 in the morning and then you're going to. That's not about that's not what it's about. It's so that you are not so out of capacity and burned out that for crying out loud that you can't go to the vineyard with your girlfriends on a Saturday because you already committed to something else or you're exhausted. The whole point is so that you can say yes to the most important things and it's just shifting back into that. We don't have control over how many hours we have or how many minutes we have, but we do have control over the boundaries that we put on them and the people and the things that matter most to us that we put in there, and that's just really what I want to encourage everybody. I'll just say one other quick thing to an example, a practical example why it's personal. Time management is personal.
Speaker 3:I was talking with a client and every time management coach I've ever heard talks about planning on Sundays. Right Sunday night, you do your thing, you do your weekly plan, your meal plan, your whatever. So I was talking to her and she's like I am tired on Sunday nights, my brain is not there. I just want to chill with my kids on my couch, I just want to like. I'm folding the last of the laundry and all of a sudden I realized I said well, when is your energy better for that? She's like well, maybe Fridays, before I leave work. Oh, my word, katie, that has revolutionized my life and how I teach people to do it.
Speaker 3:We now plan and I say we in quotes. We, as in the whole world that I ever talk to, we plan on Fridays. I plan on Fridays before I quit for the week, before a weekend, for the day, because I'm just a higher, better energy. At that moment I can think about when am I going to feed my family. Next week. I can go ahead and make my grocery list to pick up on Sunday night or Monday morning or whatever. I can map out my week without the pressures from somebody else of, like kids, forgetting that they did that. I have more freedom and flexibility and mental capacity to do it. So those are some of the things, too, that make it much more attainable and approachable.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, we've all shifted now, and I know that you'll let everybody know I've got free printables If you like. I want to make it pretty. I've got brain drains and weekly plan sheet printables for you. You can put them on your iPad, you can print them out, but we plan on Fridays. That way, guess what you enjoy your weekend. Sunday night, you are in the moment. You're there knowing that Monday is going to kick off strong and great, and you've got it, and it's not going to be perfect. But it is going to kick off strong and great, and you've got it. And it's not going to be perfect, but it is going to get those priorities in when at all possible and if not this week, next week.
Speaker 1:That's really helpful and, I think, refreshing you a lot of people to think that it doesn't have to be Sundays. There's this huge Sunday thing cook every meal for the week and plan your. It's like you're losing the whole day. Colby and I do have something in our house. If we don't grocery shop on Sundays, we realize that we end up eating out more during the week, and so that is our one thing. Um, but man, if I could do the meal plan on Friday, I feel like a lot of people could eat. Could totally relate to having more brain capacity.
Speaker 3:So just try it. It is like the most freeing thing ever.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. This is like kind of connected, kind of random, but I think a lot of people could understand this. So last year I've always wanted to be a reader. I admire readers. I went to a media training recently where they were teaching us about public speaking and they said one of the untold keys to being an amazing public speaker is to be an avid reader. They said like the sharper your brain is right, the sharper you could be with your words and there's more to draw from. So that really resonated with me and sun's in my face.
Speaker 3:It's getting ready to come in these Florida windows too.
Speaker 1:I'll be dodging it in a minute. And so last year I was like, okay, I could do a book a month, I could do a book a month. Year ended, I read two and a half books and I was like this is ridiculous, because I was not that busy, I just wasn't. I wasn't intentional with my time. And so I realized I don't have an alarm for everything in my day, so I don't want people to hear that. Um, but every night our routine is kind of like we wind down, we watch a show, colby takes a shower, we all know.
Speaker 1:The husband, like stereotype, is in the bathroom for like 45 minutes and I'm like, what am I doing during that time? That is a great time for me to sit and to read my book, unwind for the day. And so I do have an alarm on my phone that goes off around that time and I'm like man, I'm just grabbing a hold of what's important to me it's not. And when I do read, when I do have that time and I'm plowing through those books and checking off my list, I feel so I don't even know what word accomplished, just proud of myself working towards a goal, keeping my mind sharp. It's like mom time for me after a day with Wesley, and so I know I've talked to a few people that are like I wish I was readers too. I'm like let's just all do this together, even if it's five pages, whatever it is, it's possible.
Speaker 3:It's possible and it's gratifying, and that's why I say start small, not strong, because discipline can only get you so far. Right, but habit. Habit is what fuels you, and what you're doing, katie, is habit stacking. Your husband's habit is to get in the shower. You're just literally adding on to that very thing. It triggers you. Right, he gets in the shower, I get my book out. Something happens like this. I do something else, and I'm a huge fan of habit stacking. It's like Pavlov's dog right, you hear the bell, then you eat the food. Same kind of thing. And whether it's five pages that you get in or 50 pages that you get in, that's not the point. The point is that you've now carved out that time habit stacked. It's brilliant, well done.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. I know you said it's brilliant. I'm like I'll take it my one minute a week.
Speaker 3:And those are the little time management hacks or tips or things Like for me. I walk. In the morning I go for a walk and the first couple miles I work Like I work, I get my productivity out. On the way home, the next couple miles I pray out loud. I mean people might think I'm crazy walking. I don't care, but that's how I. If I don't do it then and if I don't stack it, then it's girl, it is not going to happen and if I don't say it out loud I'm going to get distracted. I'm going to look at my phone. I have to put my phone away and I just say like good morning God the Father, good morning Jesus the Son, good morning Holy Spirit. And so that's just habit stacking. It's doing it because it is a priority, but it's also setting reminders for yourself that this is how I do it and when I do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is such a random, well connected but random side note, but I feel like it might encourage someone. So, our landlords they're an older couple. She was getting a knee replacement and I knew I just wanted to love on them and bring them dinner when they came home, because they were going to be limited. Her recovery was a lot and so I brought dinner over and she goes.
Speaker 1:Katie, I have no idea how you had time to do this and the reality is it was the busiest week of my business to date, but I planned ahead of it, I planned ahead for it, and the reality was I had to cook dinner for my family anyways, and so I picked a dinner that was going to be easy for me to duplicate, easy to transport, something we would enjoy eating, we know would nourish them and encourage them. And I think that, as we're talking about like relationships and time and all this stuff, there are ways to habit stack or to, you know, just be a little bit more intentional with the way that we're planning some of these things, to keep fueling relationships, even when schedules are busy. You know things like that. So I hope that's an encouragement to someone. The sun is blaring in my face right now.
Speaker 3:I call that the. How can I instead of the? Can I? I call it the? How can I? Yeah?
Speaker 3:So elaborate on that for me a little bit, and then yeah, yeah, I mean when we ask ourselves the question of like can I? Okay, so like, oh, can I make dinner for my neighbor? You know, oh, I don't think so. This is such a busy week. But when you, when you add in that one little word, how your brain starts to go into brainstorming and problem solving and resourcefulness, and the how piece is assuming you can right, the can I is assuming you can't, the how can I is assuming I can, and then usually just without even having practiced it, then that habit stacking comes in, or that aha moment comes in, or and that's especially if it's something of value, so that's what you did. You just said I want to make dinner for her, not can I? How can I? And that's what you did. Wow, see, you are, you are.
Speaker 1:I do some things right, no, but I know that's. That is one thing that I hear people say, like, oh, I'd love to bring dinner, but I'd love to, but yeah, there's a lot that we can elaborate on there, but I think that people could I don't know tweak that to whatever situation you're working with right now.
Speaker 3:When it comes to community, yeah, and it's also just as good to find out what their favorite sushi is and door dash it to them.
Speaker 1:Such a good reminder, Callie Yep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, from her own experience.
Speaker 1:No, but it's. It's so real. People just want to be remembered and it's not. It's not as difficult to remember people as we make ourselves believe. Yeah, Good, good. Well, what else might we have missed? Time management wise, that you would want to encourage the everyday woman with?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think really, just again, give ourselves grace. I mean, how many hats do we wear? Right? We wear so many hats, so, honestly, one should be a crown. Put that crown on, and I'm just here to fix your crown a little bit, if it's coming off.
Speaker 3:When you think about all the things that you do accomplish, how worthy and of value you are to the world, I just don't want it to be so much that we do lose sight of what is the most important, and so I just want to go back to that. I want you to think about starting small. What is one small little habit you could stack? What is one small little thing that you've been overestimating, that you can get right on track? What is one small little thing that you could start to plan?
Speaker 3:Maybe on Fridays, you literally plan out your meals for the next week. Maybe on Fridays, you plan out when are you going to have your quiet time, when are you going to have your date night, and then that time block is an offensive line. They are blocking you from anything that could come your way and distracting your way. You have permission now to say that you already have something scheduled during that time, and then just know that, when you look at your schedule as a whole, to say what is it that I value and if there's some things missing, that's what I want you to start to put in to practice.
Speaker 3:And again, it's not about what time you wake up or what time you go to sleep, although I do say prioritize sleep, especially whenever we get. Make sure that that's in there. And it's again not about having a perfect schedule, but what it is about is looking and understanding priorities and energy, and so I just want to encourage you. Probably everybody on here is doing almost everything right. This is just going to be a little small tweak here or there. That's going to let you breathe a little bit more.
Speaker 1:We can all use that exhale Such powerful, timely reminders for so many of us. Well, we end each of our conversations with the same three questions, and I want to hear the answer to yours as well. The first one is something you've eaten recently and loved.
Speaker 3:Okay, so my daughter is 14 and she loves to bake, and last night she made some homemade chocolate chip, nutella stuffed cookies. I am telling you, I wolfed down one right before this and now I feel like I deserve another. So that, and then one other thing that I like drinking lately I've discovered poppies. I don't know where I've been, but it has to be in a fancy glass with a glass straw.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, okay. So I love poppies. What flavor do you like?
Speaker 3:So I like that raspberry rose or something. I like that one. I like orange vanilla, I like that one. Yeah, yeah, I'm still experimenting but I am too.
Speaker 1:I'm new to the world, but I love it and I am for sure. A fancy glass, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:And a glass straw.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't own a glass straw, I need one. Yes, you must, I need one.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, you need like six different colors.
Speaker 1:There's a cute gift shop near us pearls and plaid and they sell all like Stanley straws, Like if you want to like switch them out and make them pretty, and I've loved that. But a glass straw, Okay, Another level. Oh, that's really fun. I know I was talking to a really good friend of mine. She's like people might think you're an alcoholic because usually I have a drink on my podcast out of a tumbler, like a wine tumbler. I'm like I am not downing alcohol every episode.
Speaker 3:Hey, remember, we're not judges, just scientists. What is in that? Remember, we're not judges just scientists?
Speaker 1:What is in that? It's water, not vodka, my friend, something you found to be beautiful lately.
Speaker 3:So one of the things that I talk about with time management is the concept of polish, the present, which means that you can find beauty in the little bitty things. It doesn't have to be on a vacation or anything major. And the other day my daughter was playing piano, practicing piano at home, and she asked me to listen. And you know how it is when a kid wants you to do something. They ask you to do it and then they keep side-eyeing you to make sure you're not on your phone and that you're watching them. So I made sure I put my phone way away, I sat on my floor and I just leaned my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes and I listened to her play and it was just. It was such a beautiful moment and I'm so glad I didn't miss it, because I have missed it in the past. Being real, that was the beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:Sitting there listening to her Wow, wow, wow, and it's one of those things that, even if she never brings up that moment again, like it sticks, those things stick and are formative for them too. So, wow, very beautiful. Last but not least, something you have discovered recently that you think everyone should know about whether it's an Amazon purchase, a Netflix show, anything fun.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to do one of each First on Amazon. I don't know why it took me this long, but I have one of those olive oil, or I use avocado oil, misters. Okay, I don't know why, katie, but I just love it. I never used it and that's a game for me. Okay, and glass straws, which you can also buy six on amazon. Um, I just finished. Okay, I do like a good true crime. This can be real, and I also like documentaries. So, apple cider vinegar, and I also like apple cider vinegar and like a shot of it at night and I think it's amazing. But there's a new series on netflix. Well, well, maybe it's not new Apple Cider Vinegar. It is crazy town. I'm looking it up.
Speaker 1:I can't believe I haven't heard of that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's about six episodes. You got a time block in. You're going to watch it. I suggest watching it and then do a deep dive into the real story. So it's inspired by a true story. A woman in Australia and the title of the show is weird, so don't let that stop you. But yeah, Okay. I love a good Bible study and then I love a good true crime. Balance it's all about balance.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness. Okay, my husband Colby always calls me out because I get so like I dive into those shows and then I live paranoid for the rest three months, the next three months, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, am I paranoid? It's bananas. It's crazy, it is.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I will like it. Well, where do you want to send people to follow along for more?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love it. Well, you can follow me on social. It's. It's at Callie Brigham. You can also go to my website. But, yeah, just follow me on social. Send me a DM, Let me know. I'd love to. I'd love to get to know Katie, all of your friends, I'd love to do that. You can serve that and I'm I'll have Katie put in the show notes, the brain drain to help you plan on Fridays. So you can check that out and I will say. If anybody does want to dive a little deeper into this, you can DM me for a free call and we can see if I can serve you in a more personal capacity with your time.
Speaker 1:That's the best. Let's fill up our schedule, friends. Well, thank you guys. So much for tuning in this week and see you next week.